Dating can feel frustrating. Finding the right man is hard. But finally, you have a great date with someone you finally feel a connection to. You know he feels it too because he complimented you and flirted nonstop. You feel like the date was truly special. But now you’re left wondering if you were mistaken, because you haven’t heard from him since.
Why isn’t he calling?
The reason why men pull away after coming on strong is because men operate differently than women. They say how they feel in that moment, which may or may not predict how they’ll feel tomorrow, or the next day. Maybe when he had a chance to get some space to think, he realized he wasn’t interested in pursuing anything more. This turnaround in behavior may lead women to believe that men are liars, or con artists, but the truth is far less sinister or complicated than that.
According to dating expert, Evan Marc Katz, the key to finding a long lasting, deeply connected relationship is to understand what men really think when they’re dating you, and using that to your advantage. Pay attention to his actions after the date, not just the words he said during the date, and you’ll relax and have more fun with dating. The added advantage is that you’ll come across as much more easy-going and confident.
This will allow you to change the way you date and free you to meet the guy you’ve been searching for.
Why men pull away has more to do with the mechanics of how men work, than it has to do with anything you did. This is important to understand that so you’re not left feeling like you did something wrong.
Whether you want to believe it or not, good guys do hurtful things all the time. They don’t do them to be mean, they do them because they are doing and saying what they feel in the moment, versus thinking towards the future. Women, on the other hand, are much more likely to project their good feelings now into hopes for the future. This is where women get themselves into trouble when it comes to dating men.
Men don’t approach dating like women do.
If the first few dates go well, women are more likely to get excited about a fantasy future where they’re together with the guy. They start to wonder where the relationship is headed and begin to invest in the possibility of a romantic future together. If you also do this, you’re not being present in the moment. You’re focused on the future and what that future could hold. And that’s not where your guy is. This is how two people can end up having completely different dating experiences. One reason why men pull away is that they sense a woman is making more of the date than it was, and it’s a turn-off.
The secret to better dates and a deeper connection is learning what to say — and what not to say — to a man after those first dates. Those telling moments after a first date are how you’ll be able to understand a man’s real intentions about you.
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