Are you holding any grudges against people from your past?
Many of us likely hold some kind of grudge against someone we once liked or trusted.
We think back to a boss we had once who was unfair and too demanding. We remember a teacher who ridiculed us in front of the class. We loathe to recall an ex who lied, cheated, or acted irresponsibly and broke our heart. Or maybe a family member was abusive or neglectful when we were children and we have disdain for them now.
The people that hurt us may not be in our lives anymore, but we still experience the emotional repercussions from the incident to this day.
It pains us to remember how we were fooled, or how we didn’t see it coming.
We tell ourselves that we’re never going to get into a similar situation, or that we’ll be a lot more discerning next time.
We may think we’re doing the smart thing by “learning from our mistakes” but the reality is, if you’re holding a grudge, you’re turning one mistake into a lifetime of missed opportunities.
You’re turning away from the magnificent truth of your being in favor of the small, fleeting satisfaction of knowing you’re right, and the other person is wrong.
Holding a grudge takes away your freedom because it keeps you from experiencing more of what life has to offer. It creates tension, which constricts energy flow in your body and can causes an array of aches and pains.
Here’s how that happens…
When we were younger, we may have had experiences that were very painful and devastating. In those experiences, our subconscious started to record things. We developed an attitude associated with that painful experience.
We started to keep score.
We kept score every time our parent said something condescending, or our friend acted unkind, or we were reprimanded unjustly by a teacher or boss.
Over time, that scorekeeping shows up in your life in the form of avoidance of certain situations, places, or people. You tell yourself you have to be more careful, or else risk getting fooled or hurt again. But the end result isn’t always in your favor.
For example, you give up on dating because you’re holding a grudge against the last person who hurt you, but you’ve been single for years and you’re starting to wonder if you’ll ever find love.
Or, you’re avoiding taking on certain projects or opportunities because of a bad experience in the past, but now you realize that you’ve missed out on something that could have been worthwhile and purposeful.
Maybe you’ve experienced trauma when you were a child and you haven’t spoken to anyone on that side of the family for decades, and now you feel alone and unsupported.
When you hold onto a grudge, you limit yourself.
You limit what kind of experiences you allow yourself to have, or which people you allow yourself to get close to.
You make judgments and suppress love. The judgments are rigid beliefs in how YOU’RE right and the other person is wrong. Those judgments create a box that feels like shelter.
At first, this box feels like safety and stability. But in time, you outgrow this box.
How do you know you’ve outgrown it? You look around and you see how remaining stuck in that box doesn’t serve you anymore.
The relationship you’re in doesn’t feel right anymore.
The circumstances in your life don’t feel fulfilling.
You lack a sense of purpose, despite a lot of “doing.”
On top of that, maybe you’re beginning to have neck pain, back pain, headaches, and fatigue.
You might look for ways to feel right with your life again. You change jobs, move, make new friends. You want to feel more energized physically, so you make an effort to get more rest and exercise more—and I would be the first to say that these are healthy habits.
You may still feel that despite the changes you’re making, there’s something missing in your life or that you don’t feel good in your body.
That’s when you know that it’s time to examine all your old grudges and recognize that there’s something more to life than just a rigid sense of right and wrong. And that something more?
As you can see, it doesn’t serve you to cling to the reasons why you’re justified in holding a grudge, or feeling hurt and angry.
It doesn’t serve you because it limits your life experience and it blocks the energy flow that promotes health and wellbeing.
What does serve you? Not judging, not pushing away, and not making decisions about what’s right and wrong.
What serves you is not suppressing love, generosity, and gratitude.
When we suppress instead of EXPRESS, our energy compacts and creates GUNK.
Gunk is all the resentment, grudges, anger, fear, and trauma that builds over a lifetime.
Gunk creates defenses and blind spots. It keeps us from experiencing the whole of our being. It suppresses the truth of who we truly are, which is creative energy based in love.
The best way to clear away the gunk is to be present and available.
Being present and available is transformative because it connects you to the energy, vitality, and joy that is your birthright.
If this sounds complicated or if you’re not sure how to do this, don’t worry, because I’ve developed a program that will show you how to become fully present through holistic exercises and techniques you can do in minutes a day.
When you’re muddling through resentment or holding grudges, you’re not living to your full potential, because you’re not being present to your true self.
Instead, you’re living in your head, wondering why that person did what they did, asking yourself why you didn’t react differently, and weighing what you can do or say now to set things straight.
My video program, Energy For Life, can help you let go of the energy-draining, limiting power of grudges, resentments, and all the gunk that’s blocking life-force energy from flowing freely throughout your body.
In Module 7, you’ll learn how to lead with love and improve any relationship, even with the most difficult person.
You’ll also learn how to be more compassionate and loving toward yourself—and it’s simpler than you think. It’s also counterintuitive, because when we’re experiencing negative emotions we tend to overthink things and go into analysis mode, which short-circuits our self-compassion and creates more suffering.
In Module 4, you’ll hear a personal story about what happened after my father died that demonstrates how to reframe old resentments into empowering truths.
You’ll get video demonstrations of body movement exercises designed to move energy through your body and clear out the gunk that’s blocking the subconscious and causing you pain.
I share a powerful but simple technique early in the program called “central channel breathing,” which activates all parts of your consciousness and draws energy into your body.
It’s something you can do while sitting at your desk, driving in your car, or while going for a walk in the morning—whenever you are sensing yourself getting carried away with negative thoughts, worry, or anxiety.
This technique will snap you right back into presence and help you cultivate your intuition.
You can start watching now, risk-free:Let Go of Resentment
Your mind uses grudges and resentments to keep you safe and keep you from being hurt again. That may work for a short time, but over the course of a lifetime, it can limit your life and cause you all manner of pain and suffering.
By learning how to let go of grudges and become more present and available to life, you’ll get closer to the truth of who you really are: an experience of limitless love.
With Great Love,
P.S. Sometimes our grudges are completely subconscious, meaning, we aren’t even aware of how past wounds and betrayals are affecting how we live our lives today. Something happened 10, 20, or 30 years ago or longer and your subconscious is still trying to protect you. If your life doesn’t feel fulfilling or if you sense there’s something missing, despite having all the trappings of success, this may be the reason why.
This is simple to undo using simple techniques and exercises I reveal in Energy For Life:Learn More