Have you done a lot of “work” on yourself over the years in order to be happy, but still have many moments where you feel down or gloomy about your life?
Sure, you may have moments when you’re elated and content.
These may come from temporary highs or unhealthy addictions, such as sitting down to your favorite television show with a bowl of chips or ice cream after a hard day at work.
That could feel downright blissful…until you do it too often, gain ten pounds and feel disgusted with yourself.
Or when you are upbeat because you just bought something new, like a new car. But as we all know, it’s not long before your excitement fades, along with that “new car smell.”
And that high you get when you achieved a hard-won goal? It’s great, except that if you start focusing on a new goal almost immediately, it puts you right back into a state of yearning and striving.
And that’s the trouble with happiness. It comes and goes, but it doesn’t LAST. Especially when you have a mental checklist of stuff that needs to go right before you can relax and celebrate.
You may believe that you have to have a reason to be happy, so you’re always working on that reason—whether it’s controlling your weight, or making your home more comfortable, or planning a vacation so you can have something to look forward to.
But here’s the surprising thing:
You don’t have to achieve, acquire, or buy anything in order to be in a permanent state of happiness.
In fact, studies from positive psychology and research done on deeply happy people conclude that you can be happy no matter what.
But most of us have this false idea of what needs to “work” in our lives before we can achieve a lasting state of happiness…
When I was in my 20s, I thought the path to lasting happiness meant having solid foundations in certain aspects of life.
I thought having a successful career was one of the foundations to happiness. Isn’t that why people go to school for years and get promotions and look for better jobs?
I thought that falling in love with the right person and spending the rest of my life with them was one of the foundations. Isn’t that what many movies and literature are about?
I also thought I needed to make a certain amount of money, so that I could have a comfortable home in a fabulous neighborhood. Surely, a big, beautiful house would make me happy?
I sure thought so!
That’s why I focused much of my thoughts and talents over the next couple of decades doing the things that I assumed would “get” me the happiness I so craved.
But when I achieved all these goals and reached what appeared to be the pinnacle moment in my career—signing 5,000 copies of my best-selling book and giving a speech to 8,000 fans—I realized that I still felt like there was something missing in my life!
There was still an emptiness inside me that no amount of money, fame, accolades, or pleasurable surroundings could fill.
I couldn’t just shrug this off. I had to know why some people strive so much and still feel unhappy, and why some seemed to be happy for what seems like no reason at all…
I decided to dig deeper into this mystery of why some people could be happy despite the ups and downs of life, and why some could NEVER be happy, no matter if they had every reason to be.
I spent the next several years immersing myself in the most up-to-date research on positive psychology and interviewed 100 truly happy people about what they did that was unique, and that’s when I realized I had it wrong all along.
I had been working so hard to be happy in my life, but I had been focusing on the wrong things to do it!
The fame, the career, the money…certainly nice to have, but not necessary for lasting happiness.
Truly happy people, I discovered, came from all walks of life and from all income levels.
Wealth was not a prerequisite for happiness.
Some of the happiest people I met had rather mundane jobs, not impressive careers. Some were married, some weren’t. Some even had physical limitations or afflictions that made everyday tasks more challenging.
Regardless of their differences, all the deeply happy people I spoke with and studied had an optimistic outlook on life. They described themselves as being “very happy” MOST of the time.
So if money, wealth, fame, love, and success didn’t make them happy, what did?
For one thing, they knew what was important in life and what wasn’t.
They had priorities and habits in their daily life that contributed to their overall happiness, not necessarily to the goals of wealth or notoriety.
What I found was that happy people had 21 main happiness habits that fell into 7 main categories, or pillars, of life.
(Incidentally, not one of the 7 pillars were “great career” or “fame and fortune”!)Learn the Habits
The happiest people I studied seemed to really have it together in these 7 main areas:
They don’t blame others for the unfortunate circumstances of their life. They show up like a victor, not a victim.
Happy people don’t stay mired in negativity or pessimism. They have a knack for reframing challenges into opportunities—to do better, to learn, to be even more grateful when things are going well.
Happy people have compassion for others and forgive those who hurt them, because they understand the value of living with an open heart—or being accessible and in tune with themselves and others.
Happy people know what to do on a daily basis to feel good in their bodies. It doesn’t mean they have to have a perfect body, but they do what it takes to support a healthy body that produces lots of happiness brain chemicals.
It’s important for deeply happy people to be plugged into a Higher Power, the Divine, God, Spirit, The Universe—whatever you prefer to call it. They have a relationship with spirit and know how to live soulfully.
Happy people have discovered what their greater purpose is in life, and they find meaning in being able to integrate their purpose into daily life. This isn’t necessarily related to work or career, either.
Happy people know how to set appropriate boundaries with people who don’t support them or with those who are negative or toxic. They appreciate the value of cultivating relationships with people who will bring out the best in them.
Maybe you recognize yourself in one or more of these 7 areas? Maybe you are skilled in maintaining good relationships and you have a rich, inner spiritual life.
Maybe you’ve done a lot of work to stay physically healthy.
Maybe you’re good at taking responsibility for your life and know how to turn lemons into lemonade.
But if you’re still struggling to feel deep and lasting happiness no matter what, it may be that you’re weak in some of these categories.
It may be that you need to rewire your brain with thoughts that support happiness.
Or you need to know what to do to naturally increase serotonin or your physiological health.
Or your relationships aren’t conducive to your mental health.
Whatever your weak spots are, the good news is that you can work on improving them, simply by changing certain habits or by practicing certain skills or techniques.
What’s even more terrific, is that once you’ve mastered these 7 foundations, it won’t matter what your circumstances are in life, because you’ll have raised your happiness set-point and already achieved what all humans hope to achieve—true contentment and inner peace.Learn How
When you put your time, energy, and resources into creating a solid foundation for happiness, everything else in your life can fall into place.
What that means is that when you raise your happiness level, you improve every area of your life.
Happy people are 1/3 less likely to get sick and live an average of 9 years longer than unhappy people.
They have more success in life and make more money—about a million dollars more over their lifetime.
Happy people have more harmonious and fulfilling relationships.
That’s why it makes sense to work on the happiness FIRST, and everything else will follow.
To do that, all you need is to master the 7 pillars of happiness by embracing the same habits, techniques, and practices that happy people do.
That’s what my 30-day video program, 30 Days to a Happier Life will help you do.
Whether you have one or two weak spots when it comes to your happiness, or you need help with all 7 pillars of happiness, my program can show you how to strengthen these areas.
I’ve structured this 30-day program into these 7 main pillars, and you’ll get several practices and techniques to try in each area to help you develop those “happiness muscles” under each pillar.
For example, you’ll learn:
And much more!
You can start Day 1 today, and see for yourself how your happiness level skyrockets within a few short days. In a month you can completely transform your outlook on life:Start Day 1 Now
You know, if money, fame, and fortune were the secret to happiness, we’d have a lot more happy people in Hollywood, right?
It’s not our conditions, it’s our habits that create happiness. We can build a strong foundation of happiness by practicing those specific habits.
Let me show you how to create your happiness foundation.
With love and happiness,
P.S. Did you know there’s several things you can do to naturally raise your brain’s serotonin levels without pharmaceuticals?
In my 30 Days to a Happier Life video program, I’ll reveal several practices that can raise your brain’s “feel good” chemistry that don’t cost a dime and some that take a few minutes a day or less. Some of these habits are even ones that you’ll get “addicted” to because they’re feel so good. Find out what these are in the days we focus on the pillar of the Body:Get Started