Finally. You had a phenomenal date.
You were physically, emotionally, and mentally attracted. And it was reciprocal.
You know for sure, because he said it:
He couldn’t believe his luck to have met you. He’s excited about you and can imagine a future together. He can talk with you about anything. One day, he wants to get married and have kids.
If you’ve ever left a first date on an absolute high, and called or texted your friends to tell them this is IT, you’ve made a classic mistake that is hard to swallow but easy to avoid.
Simply put: an amazing date does not mean the same thing to him as it does to you.
How else can you explain all the incredible connections in your past that resulted in men who “ghost” you or hook up and then do the “slow fade” after a few weeks?The Secret To Lasting Chemistry
He said all this while holding your hand and looking deeply into your eyes.
On top of it all, he said you were this amazing mix of adorable and sexy. In fact, he’d never encountered this combination in his whole life. He was literally blown away by you.
The wind must have been blowing really hard, because days later, he was nowhere to be found.
Look, I’m not trying to make light of your pain.
The reason I can be so nonchalant about what this guy did to you is because I’ve seen this happen thousands of times to women all over the world.
You might think that the connection you had with that guy was truly special, and you’re scratching your head wondering how there could have been such a sharp turnaround.
Did something you say turn him off? Was he making the whole thing up? How could anyone put up such a convincing act?
But the truth is that it happens all the time. And it’s not an act. It’s just how men are.
That’s why it doesn’t matter what a guy does on a date…
The only thing you should be paying attention to is what he does AFTER the date.
When a man wants something serious with you, you’ll know it.
He’ll call the next day. Quickly set up your next date. Keep his weekends open for you, etc.
You know this. You’ve seen this. You’ve experienced this.
THIS is how men act when they’re really into you. It’s not just talk, it’s ACTION.
Thus, it doesn’t matter if you had the best date in your life; if he left you hanging for a week afterwards without making plans to see you again, that’s all you need to know.
If you understand this, you can change your entire dating experience.
You can date in a way that lessens the roller coaster of getting your hopes up only to have everything come crashing down. And you can approach dating in a way that allows you to finally meet the guy who’ll come along for the whole ride.
But before we get to that, let me answer the one question that’s really been bugging you:
It’s easy to assume that men are con artists who like to game women.
It’s natural to think we just love the thrill of the chase, get bored, and move on to the next victim.
But although those men exist and it’s a gratifying answer, it’s just not that simple.
I’m one of those guys who came on strong only to later make a quick and surprising exit.
Yet, if you ask my wife (and most of the women I dated), I’m not a liar, player, or a jerk.
That means there’s a lot going on beneath the surface—for all of us.
Haven’t you ever plunged into an exciting and passionate relationship—without really knowing the person, only to discover after a few weeks or months that you made a mistake?
I did, too. Probably about a dozen times. I hated hurting these women but I also hated the fact that I was so bad at assessing our compatibility.
I had to turn over a new leaf and move slower in order to make better decisions.
You do, too.
Good guys do baffling, hurtful things all the time—not because we intend to lead you on, but because we’re really just being in the moment.
One day he’d like to be married to someone. But it doesn’t mean now, and it doesn’t necessarily mean with you. Yes, even if you’re the beautiful woman holding his hand as he says it.
Does he like you? Yes, absolutely.
But he isn’t thinking long term with you yet. He’s just thinking out loud. In general.
I know this is really hard to wrap your mind around, because you don’t operate this way.
You don’t compliment a guy if you don’t think he’s great.
You don’t sleep with a guy if you don’t care about him.
You don’t bring up a future with a guy who is only Mr. Right Now.
Guys say how they feel in that moment, which may or may not predict their future feelings.
You can get yourself into a lot of trouble by thinking a man will—and expecting a man to—approach dating like you do.
You will continuously be disappointed, feel like a victim, and conclude you have no control whatsoever over what happens in your love life.
And that’s the best way of ensuring you’ll stay alone forever.
Let’s look at the facts:
You can choose to resist this statement, rebel against it, or throw your hands up in the air and give up.
Or you can do what women who are successful in love do:
Accept that men operate differently from you and use this knowledge to your advantage.
The best way to protect yourself from disappearing guys is to:
a) understand how men approach dating, and
b) date in a way that allows you to find one guy who will stick around.
In my eBook Date Without Heartbreak: 10 Incredibly Common Mistakes That Keep Great Women Single, I’ll share the truth about men and how to tell whether a man is truly into you.
You’ll learn why taking the “long view” in dating and looking beyond the first few dates is key to having the relationship you want with a guy who makes you happy long after that first date.
In chapter #3, I’ll go deeper into “amazing dates” and what they really mean—especially if you’ve had a date where the conversation flowed, you clicked on so many levels, and maybe you even slept together.
You’ll learn what to say—and what not to say—to a man after those “fragile” first dates, as well as how to quickly and easily understand a man’s real intentions about you.
In my eBook, I’ll tell you exactly how a man behaves after a date when he’s into you and wants something serious versus when he’s just seeing you as a casual hookup.
I’ll also teach you a simple script to use on a guy who has been stringing you along, which quickly forces him step up as your boyfriend, or exit your life and allow you to move on:Start Reading Or Listening Now
Before you replay in your mind all the romantic words he said to you and try to pinpoint the exact moments you might have turned him off, please do yourself a favor and click on the link above instead.
Warmest wishes and much love,
P.S. There’s one thing you can know for sure: if a man is sending confusing signals, he’s confused. It doesn’t mean he’s bad, it just means he doesn’t know what he wants.
But you DO know what you want: a guy who wants to have a future with you. To make sure you’re not settling for anything less, go here:How To Know If He’s Sure About You
Evan Marc Katz