Say you’ve started dating a new guy.
He’s cute. You’ve really hit it off with him. You like his personality and you feel like you can be yourself around him.
Problem is, you haven’t heard from him in a week.
If you’re like many of my clients, you’re used to being proactive in other parts of your life and
therefore, you may initially try to be proactive in this situation, too.
Maybe you consider texting him and casually asking:
Hey, I’ve got tickets to a concert this weekend. Wanna go?
Haven’t heard from you in a while. Is everything okay?
You figure you’ll gently “remind” him that you exist. Maybe he’s been busy. Maybe he’s meaning to ask you out but got sidetracked. Maybe what he needs is just one…little…push.
Before you send the text, you stop.
What if he gets turned off by your assertiveness? What if he says no?
All this internal deliberating is making you unhappy.
You feel out of control and powerless.
You just want to know: Should you ask him out?
It’s no fun to feel so powerless.
And you may even believe that men are the ones with all the power in relationships.
After all, men are the ones who approach you online. Men are the ones who ask you out on a date. Men are the ones who lean in for the first kiss. Men are the ones who follow up to ask you out again. Men are the ones who make the move to have sex. Men are the ones who ask to be exclusive. Men are the ones who get on one knee to propose to you.
So, does that mean you have to just sit back and passively wait for men to do everything?
Does it mean you’re screwed if men don’t take action because you’re not going to suddenly start asking men out, pushing for sex, and buying engagement rings?
No, no, and no.
If you believe that the dating dynamic is simple and binary, then, indeed, you may find yourself feeling frustrated and powerless—as if your destiny is completely dictated by men.
This may be why you’d deliberate about asking a man out. To take back control.
But this is probably not the best idea.
If you ping him, follow up with him, ask him out and do any sort of forward movement toward him, how will you know what kind of man he really is?
How will you know if he’s truly interested in you?
Sure, he may say yes and go out with you. You may even have a good time together.
But you won’t really know if he’s willing to do the work to get your love.
You may date him for several weeks or a few months and assume everything is going well, then suddenly hear him tell you that he’s not really feeling it for you. Maybe he never has.
Or you may wonder what you did wrong when he disappears and you never hear from him again.
This happens because a man who really likes you doesn’t NEED you follow up with him.
In other words, you won’t have to reach out to him because an interested guy will already have reached out to you to set up your next date.Empower Yourself In Dating
Instead of viewing yourself as powerless in the realm of dating, try thinking of yourself as the CEO of your own company. Each new man is just an intern applying for a job with you.
He may not have a perfect resume, but he’s willing to put in the work. He shows up early and stays late. He doesn’t slack off and has a great attitude.
As CEO, you don’t spend a lot of time worrying about what the intern thinks. YOU’RE the boss. You determine whether he gets hired. His future at your company is up to YOU and depends entirely on his EFFORTS.
It’s HIS job to win YOU over, not vice versa.
You just sit back, observe his efforts and treat him the same as any other person in the entire world—with kindness, humor, and compassion.
No need to be afraid. No need to be wary.
If he doesn’t call you in certain number of days to ask you out again, he’s fired.
If he lies, treats you badly, disappoints you on a daily basis, he’s fired.
As the CEO, you don’t chase after an intern (translation: Ask him out) if he’s not doing his best to win YOU over.
Instead of spending your time worrying about whether he likes you, YOU get to decide if HE makes the cut.
Suddenly, you have your power back but not because you’re asking him out or pushing the relationship forward.
You have the power because you’re either saying YES to him, or you’re saying NO.
That’s a GREAT position to be in.
It means that you—not some random man—has full control of your romantic destiny.
In my eBook and audio program, Date Without Heartbreak: 10 Incredibly Common Mistakes That Keep Great Women Single, I reveal the specific “standards” you should follow to decide whether to keep him or dump him.
You’ll be happy to learn that it’s quite EASY to assess whether he’s boyfriend material.
In Chapter 2, you’ll learn the simple formula that will make it crystal clear whether or not he’s worthy of you.
You’ll also learn the concept of “mirroring”: the effective action you should take in the early phases of dating that weeds out players and flakes quickly.
After reading or listening to my program, you’ll feel a lot more confident in your ability to evaluate whether or not a man is interested in you AND worthy of you.
You’ll become the CEO of your love life without coming across as bossy, desperate, or pushy.
You’ll also stop debating so much about what you should say or do in order to get his attention.
You’ll just observe him, and you’ll know.
And if he doesn’t make the cut?
You’ll get real-world short-and-sweet “scripts” on exactly what to say when you let him go.
Dating really CAN be much simpler and much better.
You CAN take back control of your love life.
I can’t wait to show you how.Find True Love
Warmest wishes and much love,
P.S. What if he’s texting you regularly, but doesn’t ask you out on a real date? What if he tells you that he’s never met anyone like you, but he’s not sure he wants to commit? What if you’ve been dating a few months, but he hasn’t called you his girlfriend yet?
A man’s words and actions can be confusing. Find out how to tell if he’s genuinely interested or if he’s just stringing you along in my powerful eBook and audio program.Take control of your love life