As a Vedic astrologer and relationship coach, my clients often ask me,
They’re heartbroken, because after months or even YEARS of investing time with a man, it turns out he’s waffling when it comes to making the NEXT MOVE. Commitment. Moving in together. Engagement. Dare I say it? MARRIAGE.
When they have “the talk” and ask their man where things are headed, they get one of several standard responses.
He says he’s “not ready.”
That he “needs time” or “needs space.”
He needs to get his career/finances/life more together.
He loves you, he’s just “not sure what he wants” even though you’ve been together for YEARS. And by the way, doesn’t know when he’ll figure it out, either. Can you wait a few more years, honey?
Ok, I’m kidding…sort of.
But seriously, if you’ve ever agonized over a man you loved deeply and passionately because he wasn’t making a move to commit when you were ready, like, YESTERDAY, then this will open your eyes.
Because I’m about to tell you the #1 trait (of yours) that compels a man to want to marry you.
If you possess this trait, you’re going to impress men, and inspire them to want to STEP UP.
But if you don’t, they’ll stay perpetually “confused” and “not ready.”
What is this crucial quality you must show a man that makes all the difference between getting to “Happily Ever After” or “Crappily Never After” with him, you ask?
Before I do the big reveal, I want to give you a teeny bit of background.
This information isn’t something I made up. It isn’t even my personal opinion (although I DO agree with it).
It’s from a study that John Molloy wrote about in the book, Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others—the Fascinating Research that Can Land You The Husband of Your Dreams.
Even though the book (and the study) came out more than 15 years ago, it’s information that will never be outdated. It’s universal and timeless.
Researchers interviewed almost a thousand couples all over the U.S. But not just any couples—only those that were exiting marriage license bureaus, having just picked up their marriage licenses, days or hours from getting married.
They separated the men and women and asked them a series of questions, including, “What was it about this person that made you want to marry them?”
Over and over, everywhere they went the men, overwhelmingly and from all walks of life, said the same thing…
Ready? Write this down:
They said they decided to marry the woman they were with because she loved and honored herself more than she loved them. In other words, she didn’t compromise herself for them.
Wow! Isn’t that the best news ever? Did you expect that? I know it surprised me when I heard it. But then again, I wasn’t surprised…
When we make a MAN the thing that matters most, it just about guarantees he’ll never choose us.
Have you noticed that?
When you’re with a guy you knock yourself out to please, always focusing on what HE wants and never expressing your needs or opinions with conviction, he might SEEM like he likes it…he might happily take all the goodies you give him. But when it comes down to it, he’ll act wishy-washy and undecided about your future together.
And if he doesn’t make a future with you, he won’t treat you well…
A man won’t choose us or treat us well when we make our status lower than his, by communicating to him that his needs are ALL that matters, and our needs aren’t important.
You make your status lower than his when you make excuses for him when he does something hurtful. Like disappear, or ignore you, or not pay attention to YOUR needs.
“Maybe the text didn’t go through.”
“He probably needs his cave time.”
“He’s been hurt in the past and he’s just being careful.”
“I’ll pretend to like football because I want to spend Sundays with him.”
Compromising yourself is the most unattractive thing you can do, even if, in the moment, you think you’re being agreeable or understanding.
In the long-run, it’s not going to get you what you want.
When you own your power around what you want and need, and love yourself more than you love any one man, you’ll start to attract better men, or you’ll become more attractive to the man you love.
And if you’re a soulfully sensitive woman, you probably could use some support in this area.
People who know who they are, know what they want, and won’t compromise their core values or long-term happiness are crazy attractive.
They ooze self-assuredness and wisdom. They stand tall, speak clearly, and calmly refuse to do anything that goes against their values.
Think of the 38-year-old woman who knows she wants to have a family, who’s willing to let a man go if he still isn’t ready to settle down after two years of dating.
Think of the newly-divorced woman who dreams of moving overseas and having new adventures (you go, girl!) who kindly refuses a third date with a man who says he hates to travel and would rather stay home and tinker in the garage.
Famed relationship expert and author, Pat Allen, also has something to say about women who know how to stay true to their convictions and honor themselves. She says that it tells a man’s primal, subconscious mind (the part of his brain where attraction and instinct live):
These women know what they need in order to feel purposeful and alive, they know what they will and won’t accept, and they’re willing to hold out for a relationship that allows them to have it. And it makes them wildly attractive!
This is why I always say, know your vision for life and for love! Know what you need and require.
Men will come and go. Don’t commit to any one guy. Commit to your vision.
Then you’ll get the RIGHT guy who wants you over anyone else, AND you’ll have the life you love. Ahhhh…heaven.
(Why weren’t we taught this stuff in kindergarten? It would have saved us so much heartache.)
Over the years, countless women have come to me for advice on how to get their guy to commit. Some women have greater challenges in this area.
If you’re a soulfully sensitive woman, then this can be particularly challenging for you. This is because women like you have a harder time setting boundaries and expressing their needs.
You’re good at intuiting other people’s needs and moods, so when the man you’re passionate about isn’t happy, it’s hard for you to relax. You may ignore your own feelings and needs and focus on what you can do to change HIS mood and experience.
If you’re soulfully sensitive, you’ve probably been told by family, friends, and loved ones in the past that you’re “too much.” That you feel too much, get too upset over nothing, or overly excited about things. You’ve been made to feel ashamed of your emotional intensity, like it’s a burden or problem.
Which has possibly made you want to shrink down and be a little more…invisible. When you make yourself invisible in this way, you abandon yourself. You don’t love yourself more than you love a man.
In my program, Love and The Soulfully Sensitive Woman, you’ll learn effective and empowering techniques that will allow you to honor your needs and set better boundaries with men in a way that’ll make them impressed.
In the accompanying workbook, you’ll get a step-by-step vetting tool for setting your vision for life and love, and for testing it against any man you meet, date, or are in love with. How do you decide between your deal-breakers and mere preferences? You’ll find out.
In the video program, you’ll hear from dating and relationship expert, Orchid Tao, who will give you a solid plan for gauging if a man is available enough and a good fit for you, based on how you FEEL around him (certain feelings are tell-tale signs that he won’t stick around long or make you happy).
And then you’ll get a great tip about how to communicate your sensitive nature to a man and what to do if he doesn’t get it or tells you to “get over it.” (Hint: RUN! ;))
You shouldn’t have to shut off who you are. This program will help you make the most of your sensitive nature (so you can love yourself and life more) AND will give you the tools that will empower you to never abandon yourself in an unhealthy way for any man ever again.
Once you make this shift, finding the right man and getting to your “happily ever after” will be a breeze!
You can get all of this here:Find a Man Who’ll Adore You
Remember, men marry women who don’t compromise the things that truly matter to them, and who love themselves more than they love them.
Can I get a hallelujah?
Just knowing this truth can be a total game-changer. I can’t wait to share how to do this and so much more with you…
P.S. Do you have a hard time getting over a breakup or a man’s hurtful words?
There’s a reason for this. Soulfully sensitive women are particularly vulnerable to something called negativity bias, which means you focus waaaaay too much on the bad stuff and not enough on the good. One bad interaction or romantic setback can just crush your confidence, and throw you into an obsessive pit of doubt and despair.
In my video program, you’ll learn a process for lifting up your energy and combating your negativity bias so you can feel freer, happier, less stuck in the past, and stronger in all the ups and downs of love.Find out how