Do you often feel that you have no control over the patterns that show up in your love life?
Maybe you desperately want to find your soul mate, but every time you get your hopes up over someone, the relationship doesn’t last—or it barely gets off the ground.
Maybe you do manage to have long-term relationships, but you feel unfulfilled and disconnected from your partner a lot of time time.
Regardless of your situation, the bottom line is that you feel as if you’re doomed to stay stuck repeating the same old story.
Meanwhile, you watch other people enjoying what YOU want—the devoted husband, the cute kids, the family vacations.
There’s such a BIG gap between what you want and what you have. You throw yourself into your relationships but seem to get so little back. It seems that no matter how much you hope or try, nothing shifts.
Here’s the bad news: you will stay stuck—if you don’t understand the one thing that underlies EVERY successful outcome in life.
I’m talking about the power of your commitment.
If you ask most people, they’ll tell you that they want a relationship built on intimacy, mutual respect, and honoring.
I’m betting you want this, too. Yet your life isn’t reflecting this.
After transforming my own life and working with countless clients, I’ve found time and again that the problem has to do with commitment.
You might think that commitment is what happens between two people who choose to spend their lives with each other and nobody else.
This is true, but it might not have occurred to you that commitment starts first with YOU—your commitment to YOU and what you want to create in your life.
The dictionary defines commitment as:
“The state or quality of being dedicated to a cause.”
Think about that for a moment. You can say you want to be healthy, but if you’re shoving doughnuts in your mouth a few times a week and skipping out on your gym membership, then you’re not committed—no matter what you say and how much you think you want to be healthy.
The moment you are choosing to eat the unhealthy food, you are turning AWAY from your cause and you.
When you are truly committed to the cause of being healthy, your commitment will triumph over any momentary craving. You will choose your commitment again and again—rather than the doughnuts.
Likewise, when you are committed to the cause of having a healthy relationship—then you will take ACTIONS in alignment with that cause.
When you learn to bring your actions in alignment with the desires of your heart, then your life circumstances will be a direct reflection of what you really want.
If you want to be healthy and choose this commitment over any temporary craving, then eventually you will look in the mirror and see a a healthy body.
The same goes for your love life.
If you know that what you are looking for is a long-term, committed relationship—one that nurtures creativity, expansion, and connection to The Divine, for instance—then you have to be committed to choosing actions in alignment with this commitment.
This means that if you’re single, you will choose partners who show an ability to create a healthy relationship and you avoid partners who don’t—no matter how much crazy chemistry you may feel with them.
If you want to be in a relationship of equality where you feel heard, then you will learn to tune in to what YOU really want—not what your partner wants—and speak up about what you want. You will not keep quiet to “keep the peace,” because you know YOU won’t be at peace in an unequal relationship.
Now here’s a twist:
Being totally committed to your cause DOES NOT mean you have a fixed idea of the outcome. You need to be open to what the end result looks like.
If you’re single, you need to keep an open mind as to what your ideal partner will look like and how you will meet. The right person for you may be VERY different from what you’ve been attracted to in the past.
If you’re in a relationship, being open may mean doing some things that feel risky. Perhaps you’ve never taken on a new hobby because you’re afraid your partner will pull away or because you need to handle everything in the house or it will fall apart. Yet these are exactly the actions that may make your relationship ultimately stronger.
The reason for this is that once you commit to your own cause, take actions in alignment with your heart, and then let go, something magical happens:
See, when you let go of fixed outcomes and open up to what the universe may bring, you are stepping into completely new territory. And with new territory comes new awareness.
Here’s what I mean:
If you’ve never experienced the kind of relationship you want, do you truly know what it looks and feels like?
Believe it or not, the answer is no! For example:
You might like to visit France, and so you buy a guide book, do research online, and plan out an itinerary. You might even learn some French before you go. But since you’ve never experienced France before, there’s no way you can know exactly what you would get. And the truth is you wouldn’t want to! Part of the joy will be what you discover.
The same goes for your relationship dream.
This wonderful relationship you want is like a country you’ve never visited before.
When we are in the process of preparing ourselves for this level of relationship, it requires that you’re “totally in” but also that you are flexible and open to what shows up.
Perhaps in the past you’ve had a rigid idea about the kind of education or wealth you expect your mate to have. Well, from my own experience I can tell you that I was married to a doctor and lived a life of luxury, yet I still wasn’t happy.
It wasn’t until I surrendered to the flow of life that I ultimately found myself AND the right kind of relationship, which looked nothing like what I had before.
This isn’t to say that you can’t have it all in your love life—you can. It just may show up very differently than what you’ve experienced so far, and this is a very good thing!
The reality is that you don’t want a repeat of what you’ve had so far. Your heart yearns for something different. Once you commit to what you want and also surrender to the intelligence of the universe, you can find yourself in a very different and wonderful relationship—with a new partner or the one you already have.
You don’t even have to trust the process, because the moment that you truly commit to your cause and let go of the outcome, you will be provided with so much evidence that you’re on the right track.
As you begin taking actions in alignment with the desires of the heart, you will see circumstances and situations move in your favor. You will experience people and opportunities popping up seemingly out of nowhere to propel you toward your desire.
You will be riding the wave of your commitment, and it will feel amazing.
One of my greatest rewards as a coach is teaching people they are so much more in control of what’s going on in their lives than they think.
You may feel powerless right now to have a wonderfully connected relationship, as if you’re just aiming in the dark.
But once you bring your actions in line with your commitment, the rest will take care of itself.
My program Self Love For True Love will show you how to get really clear on your deepest heart’s desire and then align your actions with that desire so you finally start getting different results in your life.
I’ll teach you exactly how to use the natural laws of the universe to create the relationship you want—including exercises, meditations, and affirmations that will keep you on track with your commitment to creating what you want.
You’ll learn how to develop a keen, conscious awareness about how you are feeling at any given moment, because how we feel dictates what we’re going to do.
You’ll learn how to avoid getting sidetracked from your commitment so you don’t waste precious time in unhealthy relationships.
One of the key reasons why you may not have been steady in your commitment is because you’re still holding on to resentment, anger, or shame from the past. I’ll teach you how to find forgiveness for others and for yourself, so that you can free yourself up to be fully present in the now.
No longer will you feel at the mercy of life or the past, because as you step bravely into your commitment, you step into a new, as of yet undiscovered, but miraculous future of love:Commit To Your Heart
Your commitment to yourself sets the stage for the commitment in your relationship. By staying committed to you—no matter what—you also create the space for your partner to raise his or her frequency and create the loving relationship you want.