You did it again.
You said “yes” when someone asked you for a favor. And then you started regretting it almost as soon as the word came out of your mouth.
Why did you feel so compelled to accept when you’re already spread so thin?
Why did you say yes when it’s not even something you want to do?
Why did you agree to do this for someone you don’t even LIKE?
Wait a minute. Aren’t we supposed to be in service to the world? Isn’t helping out just what you do? Doesn’t bad karma come around to those who are selfish?
Selfish. You’d never want to be seen as SELFISH.
No. No, no, no. That’s the last thing you want. Because, if we’re really honest here, let’s look at a big reason you said “yes” in the first place.
Ouch. That stings a little, doesn’t it?
You want people to like you. You want people to think of you as the kind, unselfish person who gives.
You think giving and saying yes will be seen as the mark of a "good person."
You’ve decided that a good person is someone who says YES.
And THIS decision—that a “good person says yes”—is the real problem.
It means that you’ve based your worth on outside approval, and you’ve decided that the way to get that outside validation is to be helpful.
Put another way, you think you have to be agreeable in order to be loved.
Who taught this to you?
Whatever made you come to this decision?
Think carefully about these questions.
Sit quietly for a moment with them and let the answer come.
Because it will.
Maybe the idea of saying no is truly awful to you. You’re afraid that if you say no, something bad is going to happen.
You think people won’t like you, or that something negative will come your way as “punishment.”
And so you comply, even if you don’t really want to.
Think about this.
Because it’s exactly what children do. As a child, you did not want to earn your parents’ disapproval. Even if you did not have overly strict parents, you may have concluded that if you wanted to see mommy or daddy happy with you, then you’d best do what they say.
Or maybe you had a martyr parent. The kind who was always self-sacrificing for others, to the point of abandoning their own wellness and desires.
If so, you grew up thinking that in order to be accepted, approved of, and even loved, you had better keep in line and nod your head yes.
Saying yes can be a wonderful thing. Being helpful is absolutely essential if we want to lead a meaningful life.
But ALWAYS saying yes—and doing it when it means saying no to yourself—is a path to misery.
Not only will you burn yourself out, but you won’t actually get the respect and validation you’ve been yearning for.
In fact, truly likeable and successful people say no all the time. They have to.
They are, first and foremost, true to their own hearts.
Sure, they love other people and want to be of service, but they know that they have to start with themselves.
They love themselves.
And they love themselves enough to say no—knowing that doing so is never going to shatter the worth they’ve already claimed for themselves.
Think about how it feels when you say yes to something you really want to do—that surge of excitement and enthusiasm that lifts you up.
Now think of how you feel when you take on something that feels like a burden. It’s exactly that—a heavy weight that brings you down.
There’s a simple explanation for this: everything is ENERGY, and that includes emotions.
Every emotion has a different energetic vibration and frequency.
Self Love and saying yes to YOU has a high vibration.
Saying yes out of obligation—which ultimately leads to regret and resentment—has a low vibration.
Here’s the icing on the cake: because people who love themselves are calibrated to always operate at a high vibration, they attract OTHER people, things and experiences also operating at a high vibration.
Once you say YES to loving yourself, you will find yourself living in a very different world:
Now, let me warn you: once you raise your vibration through Self Love, some people’s feathers may be ruffled—or they may leave your orbit.
Certain people may feel inconvenienced by your new way of being. They may get angry. They may say hurtful things.
This may be painful, but it will be okay. It will be better than okay.
Because you’ll have received yet another gift: you’ll learn that many of these people you were trying so hard to please never truly cared about what’s best for YOU.
You’ll start to naturally shed these “energy vampires”—they’re not good for your long-term wellbeing anyway.
The universe will rush to fill the vacuum with other people—positive people who will appreciate you and your unique gifts.
And then, OH MY, life will begin to feel so full and meaningful, your heart will burst with love and happiness.
This is what happened for me when I made this critical, but simple shift. And this is what I want for you. That’s why I partnered with Flourish: to help people like you cure yourself of people pleasing to create the life you were meant to live.
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That regret and resentment you feel when you’ve overbooked yourself or agreed to something? That’s your higher self roaring loudly within you. Your higher self knows—better than anyone else on this planet—what you’re really supposed to do in this one life of yours.
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