What’s keeping you from feeling completely content with your life?
The kind of contentment that makes you jump out of bed every morning, eager to start the day…
The kind of contentment that makes you feel alive, joyful and loved, no matter what your relationship status is…
The kind of contentment where you know who you are and where you belong…
And nothing can shake your confidence about where you’re going in life.
So, what’s keeping you from that level of contentment and happiness?
Is it the lack of a Soulmate? Love handles and extra pounds? Not enough money? The wrong line of work?
Is it struggling with having better health?
And the real question: Will having ANY of the above things give you that unshakeable sense of happiness? The answer is no.
Because the ONLY thing that will get you that kind of contentment can’t be found outside yourself or through other people. It can only be found within, through Self Love.
What is Self Love?
Maybe the first thing that comes to mind are the times you’ve felt good about yourself.
We feel good when someone pays us a compliment. Or when the person we’re in love with tells us that they love us, too.
Or when we were told we did a great job. Or when we felt euphoric after accomplishing a long-sought-after goal.
We feel so good about ourselves in those moments that we may even treat ourselves to an expensive dinner out, a weekend getaway or even a piece of beautiful jewelry because we want to celebrate how awesome we are.
But is any of that really Self Love?
Unfortunately, no. Because Self Love isn’t something that happens TO you, based on what OTHERS think of you, or based on some RESULT you’ve achieved.
Self Love is a more internal shift in how you feel about yourself.
Self Love is about loving those parts of yourself that you believe are unlovable, such as your neediness, hypocrisy, lack of integrity, or laziness.
Self Love is about the willingness to put into action what is in alignment with the TRUE desires of your heart. For example, if you’ve always wanted to work outdoors but you’ve been stuck in a cubicle, being able to honor that and doing what it takes to make a change.
Self Love is respecting your own feelings and needs as much as (or more than) others’ feelings and needs, so you have no trouble setting boundaries and saying “no.” Or telling your loved ones what would make you happy, even if it feels like you’re imposing or might disappoint them.
While any of these real definitions of Self Love might seem easy enough, they aren’t.
And that’s why, even if you think you love yourself, chances are you really don’t – yet.
There are three things that prevent us from experiencing real, transformative Self Love and contentment.
Who would you be without the expectations others have placed on you?
What kind of life would you have if you lived according to the “real” you?
Do you even know?
Our parents, society, religious leaders and authority figures tell us that we need to be:
And because of these expectations, you stay in a relationship that’s abusive, a job that’s killing your soul, and a life that’s too small for you.
You cling tightly to this false idea of yourself, while stuffing down the “real you” with food, drugs, entertainment or other addictions.
You can’t have Self Love when you can’t even see the real you.
What are you afraid of?
You’re afraid of not being good enough.
You’re not good enough to attract the man or woman of your dreams. You’re not good enough to get a raise or promotion. You’re not good enough to pursue your dreams. You’re not good enough to care about your health and body the way you need to.
And since you don’t think you’re good enough, you’re afraid to fail. So you don’t even try.
This fear is keeping you from loving yourself and pursuing what is true for you. It’s keeping you stuck, keeping you from finding true love and a higher purpose.
When you’re holding on to this fear, you’re not practicing Self Love, because you’re not taking action on the things that will set your soul free.
Regrets, embarrassments, mistakes and disasters: These relics of the past feel like a burden around your neck every time they come to mind.
Maybe you wonder if you’d still be in love if only you hadn’t said this or done that.
Or that you’d be in a much better place financially if only you hadn’t ignored your gut feeling about that investment.
When you hold on to the past, you hold on to negative energy. That energy is so tightly bound around you that possibilities and light cannot possibly get in.
You can’t see the good that’s already in front of you and you refuse to believe your destiny can change. You tell yourself things like, “I’m never going to find anyone who will love me the way (he/she) loved me,” or, “I’ll always be broke.”
It’s impossible to have Self Love when you’re self-loathing based on the choices you’ve made in the past.
And this is how false identities, fear and past mistakes keep you from Self Love. They make your life small and compel you to self-sabotage. You remain stuck in a place you don’t really wish to be.
There was a time when my fears and others’ expectations of me held me to a life that wasn’t my own.
It took me decades of denying who I really was and what really mattered to me before I was able to love myself enough to change everything about my life…and experience true contentment at last.
I left a 25-year marriage and a pretty comfortable life where I owned expensive cars, vacation homes and had a stable job.
But I just wasn’t happy and I was no longer able to pretend that I was!
I followed my heart and became a spiritual coach. I used my background in healing and spiritual counseling to become an authority on manifestation through Self Love.
After much trial and error, failures and successes, I designed a process for developing Self Love that I could teach to my clients. In the years since I began to share this process, it’s helped thousands of people make the shifts that made all the difference in their lives.
And now I want to make a difference in yours. That’s why I partnered with Flourish: to help people like you learn the secret to self-love and finally create the life you were meant to live.
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