Growing up my parents always told me I would go to college someday and become a lawyer. The reason? So one day I could handle their divorce.
At the time, it seemed like a big joke to me. Turned out, they weren’t joking. When I hit fourteen my parent's dream of me getting a law degree turned into them filing for a divorce decree.
Not surprisingly, I handled my parent’s divorce like lots of kids do… on my own. Instead of talking about it, I learned pretty quickly to keep quiet and not rock the boat. If a problem cropped up, I felt responsible for finding some way to fix the situation.
While I’m sure my parents never meant for me to be caught in the middle, that’s exactly where I ended up. Although things were difficult, I accepted our family situation as “that’s just the way things are” and didn’t look back.
To be honest, it wasn’t until I got married, that the impact of divorce really hit home for me.
When I said, “I do,” I became more than a blushing bride, I also became a bonus mom (aka stepmom) to two very young kids. Despite my professional background as a social worker, I had no idea what I was signing up for or how much my life would change.
Unfortunately, the “early years” of our co-parenting relationship with their mom was riddled with tension and frequent clashes. There were lots of days when the conflict between our two households cast a pretty dark shadow over our family.
Everything felt heavy, messy and extremely complicated. I knew if it felt that way to me, it had to feel ten times worse for my bonus kids. I had stood in their shoes before, and while I wasn’t sure how to make things better, I definitely knew we didn’t want to make them worse.
That’s when I started searching for anything that could help us do this co-parenting thing better. However, despite my best efforts, most of the information I found felt vague, impractical and didn’t mesh with real life.
And that’s where my journey began.
Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of teaching, coaching and talking to thousands of parents all across the globe. Along the way, I’ve learned volumes about divorce and how it impacts kids.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is this…
Divorce doesn’t end a family, it changes it. How it changes is up to you.
Right now YOU are your children’s best chance for making it to the other side of this change happy, secure and resilient.
Although you may not be able to control the choices your co-parent makes, you do have control over the choices you make. And those choices have the potential to completely reshape life for you and your kids.
By no means is the task before you a simple one. No matter how smart, capable or competent you are as a parent, divorce is a total game changer. And when you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed out and stretched thin, it’s easy to lose sight of what's at stake.
The thing is… you don’t have to go through this alone. Just like with any major life change, having access to useful information, practical skills and support makes a huge difference. As a matter of fact, it is the defining difference between families who get through this process well and those that struggle for years.
You and your children deserve to have a life that isn’t overshadowed by divorce. And I absolutely believe you can get there.
If you’re ready for things to change, I would love the chance to help you get to where you want to be.
Wishing you and your children the very best,
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