Why bother getting online, right? The men there simply aren’t your type.
If you’re a woman over 40 and you’ve tried online dating and hated it, chances are that’s one of the reasons you hated it. There are no attractive, interesting men your age you’d even want to go out with.
Maybe you’re online now, and it’s slim pickins’ out there.
You scroll through men’s profiles and all you see is guys that look too old, too nerdy, too balding, too out of shape, or plain old boring. No. No. No…
Ok, maybe there are a few “good ones”—men who seem interesting with a healthy look and a handsome face, but they don’t respond when you contact them. Or they do at first, then disappear. Or there’s always the “Oh gee, I just met someone” response, which you don’t believe. They all only make you feel even more rejected.
It’s exhausting and disappointing. Why wouldn’t you lose enthusiasm, give up, and decide online dating wasn’t for you.
And that’s too bad, because…
The majority of women who go online give up way too soon. Maybe they haven’t taken down their profile all-together, but they start completely ignoring it. Is that you?
Before you start to mentally list all the reasons why online dating isn’t for you and stop reading, I want you to pause for a moment and imagine something.
Imagine there is a single guy living a few doors down from you who is kind, funny, successful, generous, and smart. He’s looking for a smart, kind, relationship-ready woman like you.
There you are, aching—maybe you have been for YEARS—to find a man like him to share your life, but you have no idea he is so close.
You pass his house often on your way to work and sometimes even get a glance of him during your daily walk.
Yet, you never even think of saying “hi” or anything like that. His existence barely registers on your radar. Why would you? He’s not particularly attractive.
And then one day, you meet him face-to-face at a neighborhood get-together. You talk for a long time, you laugh, you feel a connection, and you go home flabbergasted that all this time, there was a gem of a man living almost next door, and you had no idea.
Imagine how that would feel. All that time wasted feeling lonely, if only you had taken ten seconds to get curious about who your neighbor was, and said “hi” when you saw him around. Maybe it would have ended up with a date. And then… who knows?
If that happened, it would be a little disorienting, wouldn’t it? Surprising? Maybe shocking?
That’s how my clients feel when I help them see that there are hundreds of great, available men like this guy that they haven’t noticed. As they lament that there are no good, single men to be found…
These great men are on dating sites or apps… looking for a woman like you.
These are men women are simply not seeing. Men they are passing by or ignoring, every single day.
Men they are choosing not to see.
Mostly because their picture doesn’t catch their eye. Or because they don’t do some particular activity or mention a certain thing.
I can almost assure you that they were looking for men online the same way YOU are… scrolling through profile after profile, or swiping through, and thinking, “There’s no one here for me.”
One of my clients, Jeannette T., had this to say after I helped her find her Forever Mate using online dating:
Before working with Bobbi, I was feeling incredibly stuck. I’d been divorced for 3 years and fumbled around with online dating for about 6 months without success. My lack of success made me feel like I couldn’t ever find love – and my negative self-talk constantly came knocking.
Working with Bobbi changed everything! I am now in a relationship with a wonderful man that I met online. There’s NO WAY I would have given him a chance prior to working with Bobbi.
He supports me in ways I’ve not experienced before, we have a strong foundation of similar faith, and we meet each other’s needs – everything that really matters to me. Bobbi helped open my eyes to be able to see what would really make me happy. And it’s him! To think I would have missed My Man without Bobbi’s coaching!
Jeannette, like so many (now coupled) women over 40, tell me that the #1 insight they had after working with me is that they would have never picked their great guy if I hadn’t taught them how to look at men differently.
That’s because I show them how to get to know or to read a man’s profile to get a sense of who he is, not just flip through what are often not-great photos and click through.
I teach them how to find a great mate… not just a great date!
After learning how to look deeper at what a man says about himself and what that might mean in terms of whether or not he’s possibly a diamond in the rough—my clients came away with another big insight:
You just need the skills to know how to look for them.
As a dating coach, I’ve helped thousands of women in the last 10 years find love online by teaching them the skills and secrets of using technology to attract the right man—including how to find the “diamond in the rough.”
I’ve also shown women how to communicate with men online that gets more responses and takes things to the next level (like a meeting over coffee/tea).
But since I can’t possibly work with every woman over 40 who needs this kind of help, I’ve partnered with Flourish so I can extend that help and guidance to as many women as possible.
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