No one joins an online dating site to meet an immature, unavailable, unkind, emotionally stunted man.
You’ve gone online because that’s where all the men are, and it’s the best way to meet and get to know someone you won’t otherwise meet in real life.
But here’s the problem: all the men you meet online are duds, or jerks, or married… or maybe you haven’t met anyone at all.
You think the problem is men. Or that online dating just sucks. Or that something is wrong with you.
But here’s the REAL problem: your PROFILE.
What you write, and how you present yourself, has EVERYTHING to do with the quality of the men you are attracting.
So do you want to find a high quality man who wants to be in a relationship… or do you want to keep getting the results you’ve been getting?
Then read on…
This is what typically happens…
You decide to set aside a few hours to draft something you think represents the real you, your values, your interests, what you want in a man, and what you don’t want.
You read it over and you’re satisfied that it’s decent. But you need an opinion.
So you text your profile to a couple of girlfriends and get THEIR opinion.
Maybe they read it and think it’s perfect! Or they offer a few suggestions to MAKE it perfect.
You edit a few things and voila! You did it. You’ve written a profile you like and that your friend(s) think truly expresses who you are. You’re ready to hit the “SUBMIT” button.
And this is the point where most women make their mistake…
Yes, you read that correctly. Chances are, if your girlfriends love your profile, it probably won’t do the job of attracting the right kind of man, or any man for that matter.
Because you’ve just written a profile that is magnetic to women.
Perhaps you’ve written that you love nature, cooking, yoga…
Or that you’re looking for an honest man who doesn’t like playing games, and appreciates an honest woman…
And you so eloquently relayed that beautiful, long story that really gets to the core of who you are and what makes you special…
And you were sure to include your list of must-haves and deal-breakers…
Your girlfriends read it and said, “Nice! *I’d* date you.”
Your friends are fabulous to help you out, but guess what?
You’ve done a great job writing a profile that’s going to make his eyes glaze over. He’s going to click to the next profile faster than you can say, “still single.”
It does you zero good to write a profile you and your girlfriends like.
There are a few good reasons for this.
Men aren’t attracted to the same things a woman is attracted to when scrolling through profiles online.
Yes, men are more “visual” and they look at your photos, but it’s more than that. When he scans what you’ve written, there are certain words and phrases that will capture his attention.
And certain other words and phrases that will turn him off.
But in order to know the difference, you have to put your “man-hat” on!
You have to understand: What do men over 40 respond to? What do they care about? Especially the men who are sincerely looking for a forever relationship! How do you communicate in a way that’s going to get him to want to know more and more about you? (It’s different from the way we, as women, communicate sister!)
If you don’t know these things, then you’re likely NOT going to compose a profile that will magically draw in the right men and compel them to contact you.
You’ll just keep spinning your wheels, tweaking your words, posting new photos, and feeling more and more beaten down every time you get online and see nothing good in your Inbox.
The problem is that you haven’t optimized your profile to be magnetic to men.
You can’t know how to write an effective, alluring profile without knowing a little bit about how grownup men think, what they’re looking for, and how to communicate with them.
Not many women have this knowledge.
That’s where I can help.
As a dating coach, I’ve helped thousands of women in the last 10 years find love online by teaching them the skills and secrets of using technology to attract the right man.
I’ve also showed women the secret mindset that makes them almost impervious to rejection, which makes online dating a lot more relaxed and fun for them.
But since I can’t possibly work with every individual who needs this kind of help, I’ve partnered with Flourish so I can extend that help and guidance to as many women as possible.
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The advice contained in these articles will help you feel more empowered and confident about getting online. You’ll feel magnetic, in control, and in charge of your grownup love life!
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