3 Ways to Attract a Great, Grownup Man

Are you recently single and have NO idea how you’re going to find a great, single, grownup man whom you’d be thrilled to get to know and spend time with?

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Are you finding it more and more difficult to find a quality man who actually WANTS and NEEDS you on a physical and emotional level? But you’re meeting a lot of attractive men who just seem to want arm-candy or a friends-with-benefits type of relationship?

Maybe you worry that real love and romance isn’t going to happen for you because you’re not stylish enough, not fit enough, not professional enough, not young enough to attract the kind of man you want.

Is this thought keeping you from even getting yourself “out there”?

I hope not—because it couldn’t be further from the truth!

The fact is that quality mature men aren’t the “boys” you used to date when you were younger.

They don’t want the same things.

The rules are totally different in this more mature, updated version of dating.


If so, then keep reading, because in this article I’m going to reveal the 3 “must-haves” women like you NEED in order to attract the right man and win his heart.

These are things that most men won’t talk about but that attract men like crazy.

If you learn about these and put them to use in your love life, the right man is sure to see you as the unique and special woman that he absolutely MUST have in his life.

But first I want to clear up something important.

Important Question: Are You Dealing With a Grownup Man?

There are grownup men… and then there are men who—despite their mature age—do NOT have their act together.

Grownup men are grounded on a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual level.

Man ring kiss her hand

They have a strong sense of self. They know what they want and don’t want. They have authority, power, strength and character. They’ve achieved a lot and they’re no longer trying to figure out how to build their “kingdom”…at this part of life they want to preserve it, and even help others build theirs.

Instead of it being all about TAKING, grownup men also want to give…they even need to give!

Now let’s talk about the Boys. (You’ve met some of these, I’m sure.)

A Boy will become uncomfortable when he gets too close to his own emotions, or too close to a woman who truly sees him inside and out, for better and worse.

A Boy will just be into the superficial stuff—looks, figure, fun. He won’t be interested in anything too serious because he doesn’t really know what he wants past having a woman make him feel good.

A quality, grownup man will appreciate and admire a woman who clearly communicates what she needs from him to be happy. He will listen, learn, and communicate with her and work on arriving at a result that will please her, without giving himself up, of course.

A Boy is annoyed or turned off by a woman who expresses her needs…because he’s still too interested thinking only about himself.

Now I’m going to share the 3 things a grownup man wants from a woman, which may not be what you expect at all. In fact, these may totally fly in the face of what you believe right now.

Here we go…

#1) A Grownup Man Wants A Woman He Can Relax With

There’s something that grownup men find magnetic and invites them into a deeper level of “connection” and bonding with you faster than just having a good time together.

Sure, men want to know you are fun to be with. (Who doesn’t have “fun” on their list of an ideal partner?) But the grownup man you want needs more.

If you are going to be the woman who is going to share his life, he also needs to feel he can relax and be himself with you.

What does this mean? It means that if you want him to feel romantic about you…he wants to be able to shed his proverbial suit and just be a nice guy and enjoy your time together.

He needs to feel he’ll be accepted for who he is and be given the latitude to be imperfect. He wants to feel safe and at peace. He wants to feel like he’s appreciated. He doesn’t want to feel like he has to constantly entertain you or prove himself to you.

Some men describe this as having a safe place to land. And isn’t this all something you want from your man?

I’m not saying intellectual connection isn’t important to him…it definitely is. But a man can get that at work or when he’s verbally sparring with his buddies. It’s not primarily what he’s looking for from you.

Your grownup man needs to connect with your femininity.

Again, men want you to be smart and will love that you’re accomplished, but they don’t NEED that from a date or a partner. Things like witty repartee are not near the top of the list for most men when they date. If that was his main goal, he’d be fine just hangin’ with the guys.

That means instead of just trying to impress him with your degrees or competing to see who has traveled the most or been to more great restaurants in the neighborhood (yes, men often see that as us trying to compete) also impress him with your kindness, openness, passion, and compassion.

He’s less interested in what you’ve DONE than who you ARE and how it is just being with you. And he’s going to get that sense when you just “chill” and let each other breathe…together.

Stay away from interrogating and trying to be overly energetic or showing off your smarts. Stay in the moment instead of trying to figure out from the get-go of he could be The One. Share laughs and accomplishments, but also share things like what you care about, dream about, and love.

It’s all about how he FEELS with you.

This may surprise you, but most men naturally tap into how a woman makes him feel.

When you show up leading with your smarts, trying to make that intellectual connection or trying to control the situation, good men turn off. It makes him feel like he has to prove himself or perform.

You may have a great conversation but he’s not calling you for a second date. (I’m guessing you’ve had that happen once or twice.)

That’s why just “being” with a man is way more important than showing up trying to impress him with your wit, intelligence, or accomplishments. It excites him when he feels like he’s truly getting to know the women that you are and allowing yourself to get to know his real self. That’s what’s going to make him think about you long after you hang up the phone or say goodnight.

In this program, I’ll explain exactly what to say and do to make a man literally stop in his tracks and wonder how in the world he can get closer to you…get to know you…make you want him.

Discover some amazing tips to put to use in your love life right now, and start enjoying the incredible feeling of KNOWING that the man you’re with is WILD about you because he can’t stop telling you and showing you that he feels deeply connected and ATTRACTED to you.

Okay, next up…

#2) A Grownup Man Wants A Woman Who Is Independent

There’s something funny that goes on for some women because of their experiences in relationships with THE WRONG MEN.

Lots of women mistakenly believe that men are looking for a “weaker” woman who will make them feel like they are stronger, smarter, more powerful, etc.

Nothing could be farther from the truth when it comes to a good, grownup man (the kind of man you can actually have a great relationship with).

  • QUALITY, GROWNUP MEN aren’t looking to a woman to validate their lives and their significance. They DO NOT want a woman who they can “overpower” so that they feel better about themselves.
  • QUALITY, GROWNUP MEN want a woman who INSPIRES them because she has great things going on in her own life.
  • QUALITY, GROWNUP MEN want a woman who MOTIVATES them because she is thinking and doing great things, and her energy and attitude is contagious.
  • QUALITY, GROWNUP MEN want a woman who has her own PURPOSE that inspires her and gives her fulfillment and a reason for living and breathing OTHER THAN just being in a relationship.

Here’s the catch…and a common complaint I hear from women like you who have their own life and purpose:

That men are INTIMIDATED by their success, and that they have their own great lives.

This is NOT why men aren’t responding if you’re an accomplished, smart, busy woman.

The reality is, the kind of grownup man you want to meet doesn’t mind if a woman has a great career, or if she makes more money than they do.

What DOES MATTER is that the woman still has SPACE IN HER LIFE for HIM…that she isn’t OVERWHELMED by her work, her hobbies, her family and girlfriends to the detriment of a potential relationship.

You probably feel the same way about the men you date, right?

If a man is CONSUMED by his work, acts burnt out all the time, and doesn’t leave space or energy to really get to know you and develop an intimate relationship… then he’s not going to do well at keeping a great woman like you around.

Bottom line, it’s HARD to be grounded and PRESENT with your partner when you have 438 million things going on… and you’re feeling stressed. And it’s hard to allow a man to relax into getting to know you when he feels like you consider so many things more important than being with him.

We all want to be #1 to our intimate life partner, don’t we?

Are You Too Busy For Love?

So think about it. Is your busy calendar and stress level getting in the way of you simply unwinding and being FULLY PRESENT when you’re with a man? Are you too busy with your girlfriends or family to give him the attention he deserves (and that you would expect from him)?

What unfortunately happens for a lot of busy, energetic, and highly functioning women is that they get burned out and unconsciously let their craving for companionship and partnership take a back seat.

What also happens when women get so busy DOING is that they STOP feeling and acting like the feminine WOMAN that they truly are.

Sure, a Boy will be threatened by a woman doing too much of her own thing. But the grownup man you want will love and appreciate a woman who has a great career and life of her own. The independence that comes from that makes a woman even MORE DESIRABLE to a grownup man.

When a grownup man sees you doing your own thing and enjoying your own life, he will WANT YOU EVEN MORE and do things to get your attention and create intimate situations between you.

But if you’ve overbooked your calendar and tuned out from your own femininity…if you’re stressed and anxious because you feel like you have to do so much for yourself… then you often aren’t in that place where a man will feel INSPIRED by you and DRAWN TO YOU. He will search for a smart independent woman who also truly wants a man by her side.

#3) A Quality, Grownup Man Wants A Woman Who Is Kind

Matchmaker Rachel Greenwald interviewed over 1,000 men who were former dates of clients, as well as strangers. She asked all these men what turned them on (and off) about the women they had dated. They described the moment when they first knew a woman was special and had future-wife potential.

It wasn’t how beautiful their wife was, or how funny or smart she was. It wasn’t mutual interests such as skiing or foreign films. These elements probably factored into their attraction, but she discovered something else was actually credited with that initial “aha” moment.

The #1 most frequent answer men cited about when they knew a woman had future-wife potential was something bland. They basically said she was really a NICE PERSON!

And they describe the small things. The men’s stories focused on moments that stood out but were nothing GRAND: just brief gestures or comments they remembered when a woman seemed nice, kind, thoughtful, or considerate..

When I asked my husband Larry why he was attracted to me SO quickly…he said that when we met at the coffee shop I “flitted in”… I seemed so open, like there were no walls. I was honest and nice. He thought I was cute. And playful. And we had FUN.

And the kindness doesn’t have to be shown specifically to HIM. My good friend Nancy’s husband saw her being kind to homeless people… he saw how tenderly she held and talked to his beloved dog. These are the things he found attractive in her. This is what *softened his heart towards her.

The grownup man who is sincerely looking for CONNECTION with a wonderful woman wants a woman who is kind, thoughtful, happy, open, trusting tolerant, accepting.

I see it proven to me every single day as I support single women in finding love. When they stay open…when they express themselves and show up as the COMPLETE AND WHOLE woman they are… they are meeting these quality grownup men. And they are picking them as their lifetime partners.

How to Attract a Quality, Grownup Man and Have the Kind of Beautiful Love You Deserve

I know what it’s like to spend many long, frustrating years looking for a romantic relationship and not meeting any attractive, relationship-minded single men at all.

I made all the mistakes.

older couple kissing

I thought men only wanted younger, dumber, slimmer, “model” types and I was not that.

So I pretended to not “need” a man, so when no man wanted me I could also pretend that I didn’t care.

I said yes to the few users and losers because I was desperate. No one else was interested. I ended up feeling so rejected and worthless.

It took me a long time to realize the TRUTH about grownup men, dating and my expectations, and then learning what works and what doesn’t to attract the kind of man I had needed all along.

Once I learned HOW to do that, EVERYTHING changed. I met Larry, and we’ve been happily married ever since. Then I started teaching other women how to do the same, and have helped THOUSANDS of women so far.

These secrets CAN and WILL work to help you find love, too.

This is why I’ve partnered with Flourish—so I can help as many women as possible learn these secrets through articles like these.

When you subscribe to our FREE Relationship Advice Newsletter, you get access to many more insights about dating, relationships and what grownup men really want from an accomplished community of carefully selected experts (like me!).

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The advice contained in the articles I’ve written for Flourish will help you feel more empowered and confident about dating. You’ll feel magnetic, in control, and in charge of your grown-up love life!

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Bobbi Palmer

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