How do you know if you’ve finally landed in the right relationship?
I’ll give you a few hints:
It doesn’t have to do with whether you’ve met him online or in real life.
It’s not about how awesome things are in the bedroom. As a soulfully sensitive woman, doing the deed is always other-wordly. Own it!
It’s also not about how quickly he introduces you to his friends or starts talking about the future. (And warning—players have a supreme knack for pulling off “instant intimacy” to automatically get you in bed.)
It’s not even about having compatible lifestyles. I’m a vegan and my hubby took me to a hotdog stand on our first date. I don’t want to even tell you how many years ago that was.
Nope, it’s not about ANY of these things.
In fact, another hint is that this is something you’re likely deathly afraid of, and avoid it at all costs.
But without it, your relationship is probably on rocky ground. So what is this criteria for relationship gold?
Drum roll, please.
This is big. No, really. Your relationship MUST have this, or else…
So I’m “bigging it up” on purpose, because if you remember this, your journey as a soulfully sensitive woman will be SO much easier.
Ok, ready? The first thing I want you to look for is:
In fact, a healthy, loving, secure, strong relationship is ONLY built through withstanding conflict and difficulty.
I really want you to take this in, because it pretty much encapsulates everything you need to know about lasting love.
Think about this…
How do you feel safe with a man? It’s not after you’ve known him for a few hours and flirted, even though as a sensitive woman you’re so impacted by connection that you’re often tricked into thinking a man is IT, fast.
In reality, you only feel safe—both of you—after you’ve gone through difficulty—had a misunderstanding, hurt each other’s feelings somehow, or disagreed on something really important—and the two of you haven’t gone anywhere.
Typically, soulfully sensitive women feel a lot of fear about sharing their emotions or doing something that could upset their partners and potentially disrupt the bond.
Because YOU feel things so much, you conclude that a man must be that way, too.
So you’ll tip-toe around him and be all chill and “go with the flow” even though your insides are twisting themselves up in knots.
Not for you, or for your relationship.
In other words, what you THINK you’re trying to accomplish—a solid, secure relationship—by hiding your feelings is actually backfiring, big time.
By holding back your authentic self and pulling in the reins on potential problems, you’re actually shortchanging your relationship.
You’re keeping you and your guy from building those relationship muscles that ultimately hold your awesome union tightly together.
Therefore, the other criteria for relationship gold is:
If you never speak up, you’ll never know whether your relationship is strong or not. You won’t find out if this is a guy who will stick around despite the inevitable hiccups, and life changes, that ANY long-term relationship will face. (In other words—if he REEEEEEALLY loves you!)
And, to make matters worse, if you’re not being real about what you want and need, odds are you’ll fall out of love WITH HIM, because you won’t actually BE there at all…just the shiny, smiling, fake shell of you, which isn’t going to help your spirit stay engaged in this relationship over the long haul.
You’ll start to feel dead inside…
But the more real you are, and the more he sticks around and can handle it, the safer you’ll feel that it’s okay to speak up, and the more connected to him you’ll become.
I know it’s verrrry tempting—especially for you—to keep quiet. You think staying on his “good side” is way better than risking tension.
But the tension is going to be there no matter what—because whatever you resist persists. (And because life is full of it!)
If something’s bugging you, it’s going to make itself known. You’ll either turn passive aggressive with your man or your “hidden” feelings will show up in the form of stress, headaches, depression, sluggishness, you name it—all of which take their toll on you and the relationship anyway.
Now imagine what happens if you take all those feelings stuck inside you and let your man in on them. If he’s the real deal—if he really loves you and this relationship is built to last—then you’ll start relaxing more and more, so that you feel the safety that has eluded you until now.
The catch? You can’t just explode all over him, or be disrespectful in any way. You have to communicate effectively.
Fortunately for you (and all of us women!) there’s a way to communicate your feelings in a way he can hear—giving both of you what you need.
Communicating your needs will make your relationship MORE connected, not less—where you both feel safe to express yourselves and have a level of honesty that lasts a lifetime.
This is where the real love is, and where relationships are worth all the discomfort, annoyances, and work healthy relationships require.
My program Love and The Soulfully Sensitive Woman teaches you specifically how to work with your beautiful, special, sensitive nature in order to make the most of your relationship AND feel truly safe.
You’ll learn how to assertively ask for what you need and communicate your sensitivity in a way that makes a man realize your relationship is oh-so-right.
Now, I’m not talking about just blurting things out.
I’m going to teach you specific pointers for how and when to approach a guy so he is receptive to you (timing is crucial).
And if you’re single, you’ll also learn just how much of your sensitivity you should put on display in those first fragile dates with a man. (You’re going to have to hold back a little until he’s more invested!)
And I’ll show you how to create a clear vision of what you want your relationship to look like, which will save you a lot of heartache, keep you from getting involved with the wrong guys, and make sure you stick it out with the RIGHT one:Start Watching Now
Isn’t it refreshing to know that the conflict you’ve been afraid of is actually the very thing that will make your relationship last a lifetime?
It’s time to stop fearing that you’ll “mess things up.”
No more worrying that if things aren’t perfect, they’ll fall apart.
Working through the ups and downs and coming out stronger on the other side will be the glue that holds you and your guy together. You just need to be smart about how to make conflict work in your favor. I can’t wait to show you how!
P.S. What if there’s something YOU want to know about a man?
Healthy men will tell you everything you want to know if you approach them in a particular way. I’ll teach you how to get him to open up in module 5 of Love and The Soulfully Sensitive Woman:Get Him To Open Up Without Losing Him