Let’s get down to what’s really going on in your heart when it comes to relationships.
Have you ever asked yourself:
Why is it so easy for some people to fall in love, and for their relationships to effortlessly come together and grow…
While YOU keep attracting people who are “unavailable” or who SEEM great at first, but eventually get scared and just can’t go “deeper” with you?
Is this “unavailable thing” really a problem SO many people are carrying around that gets in the way of love?
Could it also be that YOU play a part in finding individuals who are "unavailable"?
Or that you bring about that unavailable RESPONSE in them, a response that even the most “evolved” people have lying dormant inside them?
Here’s what could be a new and enlightening perspective on all this…
Out of all the things that can go wrong in a relationship, there’s one that causes more pain, frustration, and leads to bad outcomes: How you communicate (or don’t communicate) your needs and expectations.
This problem usually plays itself out in one of two ways. I’m sure you’ll identify with one (if not both) of these:
Predictably, when you find yourself in either of these two scenarios, it becomes a slippery slope toward ultimate relationship disaster.
Here’s how this plays out:
Remember going down this road? Not fun, is it?
So what’s going on here? And what can you do about it?
The answer? It’s about getting to know yourself and what you NEED from a relationship, and then attracting a partner based on being super comfortable and secure in your authenticity. It’s highly attractive to the RIGHT person, and it’ll get you the relationship you want without all the drama, tears and frustration.
Flourish expert, author and psychotherapist, Ken Page, explains in this article:Why EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION Is So Critical
You need to be honest with YOURSELF first, before you can be honest with anyone else in your life. Stop PRETENDING you only want a “casual” fun fling when what you REALLY want is to have a committed, serious relationship that’s “going somewhere.”
Search your soul and true self before you make one of these mistakes.
Here’s the thing:
Getting clear about what you want will help guide your mind in all kinds of POSITIVE DIRECTIONS to help you find and attract the right situations and people in your life.
But, unfortunately, being clear and honest is not that simple when “the rubber meets the road” in dating and relationships.
The reality is, knowing what you want and expect can turn into a source of EXTREME frustration and anxiety.
Why is that?
Expectations can definitely set us off in good directions in our lives… But when we don’t feel like we have CONTROL over how to get those expectations met, the "wheels really start to come off the car", so to speak.
When you first meet someone special, you may “feel” like you finally found “The One” and can see things getting much more committed and serious, but you also sense you don’t have the right tools or skills to know how to COMMUNICATE those desires in a positive way.
Simply put, you start feeling AFRAID that approaching with a heavy “talk” will either scare them away.
You’ve been hurt so many times before, that you don’t really know what “taking it to the next level” really means, why would the other person want this, and how to go about talking about it in a way that builds trust.
So you avoid expressing your deepest desires and how you’re really feeling about the relationship.
Instead, you start to accept or downplay the little disappointments… Until one day we finally wake up and realize that we don’t have the kind of relationship you THOUGHT we’d have, and it all seems impossible to create.
And sometimes this “awakening” doesn’t even happen until you’re so involved, or heartbroken. That’s no good!
So…Let’s just simplify things and boil it down to that one thing that is the cause of all the trouble and confusion:
The unfortunate truth is that when we initially get involved with someone new, we’re AFRAID of finding out the truth about what they truly feel about us, and a future together.
And the most dreaded fear of all…
REJECTION and ABANDONMENT.
These two things are so strong and powerful, that something fascinating happens…
Our minds start a cycle of SELF-DECEPTION.
Here’s how it works…
The fear of pain and loss often leads us to ignore our thoughts and intuition and replace our fearful thoughts with happier thoughts that make us feel comfortable. It’s the mind’s “emotional defense mechanism.”
How many times have you been unsure - deep down - about the person you’re seeing, but instead of examining those doubts and finding a way for you to deal with your own feelings, you decided to actually BUILD THEM UP to your friends and family as being a wonderful catch because you didn’t want to face some of the problems lurking deep in the back of your mind?
You thought that you’d help things out by telling yourself and having faith in what you wanted to be true.
…And sometimes, in the process of making up these “new truths,” you even start to convince YOURSELF that you’ve found the love of your life, a person who’s better than he or she actually is?
You’ve completely disconnected from what it is your need in a relationship, because you’re so focused on the OTHER PERSON and how they feel about you, or what they want.
Or maybe you’ve been in a situation where you’ve gotten no indication that they want any kind of serious relationship, but you choose to believe that you’re building a committed relationship as things slowly and naturally escalate.
Making those assumptions without the basis of direct communication can lead to big trouble down the road.
Save yourself the wasted energy and the broken heart.
There’s a much better and more effective approach.
According to Ken Page, the degree to which you honor your gifts is the degree to which you’ll ATTRACT those who will honor your gifts.
In other words, you have to know who you are, what makes you unique, and then embrace and lead with those aspects of yourself. Not hide them, not suppress them, not deny them. Those are the qualities that will attract the kind of person who loves you and is capable of truly making you happy.
To learn more about this, check out Ken’s program, Deeper Dating, which you can find here:Learn More
If you’re looking to move past the fear and insecurity you feel but don’t want to get in touch with or let anyone know about, then Ken Page can help you get in touch and start the “healing” and growth process.
He can help you quickly get to that great place you know is inside you where LOVE and amazing experiences and emotions simply FLOW in your life… and draw the right person, and the right relationship to you all on their own.
Remember, nobody can read your mind, or know all that’s in your heart.
And if you’re carrying around pain or fear, it’s surely getting in the way of letting others see that beautiful and real you underneath that your true beloved would want to know and love: what he calls living in your GIFT ZONE.
Don’t keep the person who could be your true soul mate from seeing the best of the real you that’s inside. Make it easy for them - and for you.
The best place to get in touch with this for yourself, and recognize the beauty inside you, is in Ken’s Deeper Dating audio program, which you can start listening to right here:Move Past Insecurity For Deeper Love
Now, back to working with your own expectations, and being with someone and discovering how they’re feeling about you…
Here’s a question that’s probably already on your mind… How can you be sure you’re with the RIGHT person?
HONESTY is one of the most liberating and valuable traits to develop - and it’s even more valuable when you’re dating.
And guess what else? It feels really GOOD to speak your deepest truth.
Plus, even when it seems like telling the truth might push your partner away, it has an amazing way of bringing you closer together and building more love and admiration.
But only if you know how to share your thoughts and honest feelings in a way that SERVES YOU and your relationship.
Not all communication is equal. You can mean something, but depending on how you share it with someone… it can either be received as loving and "good"… or as NEGATIVE and CRITICAL.
Here’s a truth you need to hear:
It’s OK to want what you want and to let others know it.
In fact, it’s a MUST.
And it’s OK to tell your mate that their behavior doesn’t match with what you want. It can turn the usual “teeth pulling” talk into an opportunity for building connection, emotional attraction and a deep source of commitment.
But only IF you’re honest and upfront about what you want and expect, in a way that says that you’re not too attached to the immediate outcome, but you’re at your core– true to yourself.
Remember though… YOU CAN’T FAKE IT.
You have to be in a place where you truly believe that you’ll find and meet your expectations for love and relationships, with or without the person who’s there in front of you right then. No matter how much you love them.
That means you have to be in the right frame of mind, and state in your heart, BEFORE you start the conversation…
But most of us aren’t in the right frame of mind because we’re afraid, and we’ve “tricked” ourselves into thinking that our intimate feelings, and our true selves, will scare people off.
It’s not our honesty that will scare love away, it’s the negative, fearful, and anxious “vibe” that we unknowingly give off before we finally EXPLODE because we can no longer hide how we feel.
The amazing thing is that humans crave HONESTY and AUTHENTICITY… We’re attracted to people who make us feel safe being who we are, and who are upfront about what they want in relationships.
The key is to know the RIGHT WAY to communicate these things without going over the top.
Don’t let that happen in your relationship - get the skills you need to create easy, flowing communication between the two of you.
Learning the skills that Ken Page shares in his Deeper Dating program will not only help you develop a deeper, lasting connection with the person you love, it will also show you how to improve your relationship with anyone in your life.
Most of all, your relationship with yourself.
We highly recommend it, and believe that it can create that turning point in your love life.Inspire That "Forever Feeling"
Your Friends at Flourish
P.S. There is a very powerful force that will make someone want to be close to YOU and ONLY YOU, and that is the natural and unmistakable force of lasting ATTRACTION.
And not the “physical” kind of attraction, which is powerful in itself, but doesn’t in itself, make a relationship LAST and THRIVE.
It’s the kind of attraction that’s DEEPER and EMOTIONAL. It’s about the things you do, the things you say, the way you carry yourself that will make that person go nuts with desire to be around you.
If you are intrigued by this idea, and want to learn everything there is to know about how to develop a DEEP CONNECTION, by living in your GIFT ZONE, check out Ken Page’s program Deeper Dating: The Powerful Path For Authentic Love here:Create LASTING ATTRACTION