Finding the One Isn’t Magic. Here’s the Best Criteria for Choosing a Lifelong Mate

Do you imagine that when you meet the person you’re supposed to be with the rest of your life, you’ll “just know”… that there will be intense chemistry between you, and that they will be just your “type?”

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If so, then you may be using the wrong criteria when Finding The One. Maybe you think it’s about destiny, and therefore you may be disregarding or discarding potential partners just because they don’t fit your idea of the kind of person you think you’re supposed to be with.

Dating expert, Evan Marc Katz, didn’t think the woman who would become his wife was The One, even after they fell in love. She didn’t fit the picture he had in his mind of what his One should be like. She wasn’t intellectual or ambitious. She was less like him than other women he’d dated. But he was happier than he’d ever been. When he married her, he wasn’t settling--he was finally realizing the truth about finding The One.

When Finding the One, Focus On What’s Working, Not On What’s Missing

What’s really important to consider when you’re in a relationship with someone you love, and thinking of committing for life?

Couple looking at each other lovingly

Evan Marc Katz says you should employ critical thinking. Does this person accept you just the way you are--all your faults and quirks? Do they bring out the best side of you? How happy are you?

Rather than focus on what’s missing--a model’s looks or ambition--you should focus on what’s working, and how this person makes you feel. That makes finding The One a lot less complicated, and a lot more likely to result in lifelong happiness.

When you subscribe to our FREE Newsletter below, you’ll receive in-depth advice from Evan Marc Katz, as well as other dating experts, on how to know if the person you’re dating is The One, based on observation and research-based criteria from seasoned relationship experts on what makes relationships work, long-term.

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  • The unmistakable pattern that can predict whether feeling “chemistry” with a man means it will turn into a lasting relationship or burn out and fade as quickly as it ignited.
  • What to do if you hate going on dates, are afraid to waste your time with the wrong guy, or feel anxious about getting heartbroken, so you can get out of the rut of loneliness and find true love without feeling mired in negative feelings.
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  • What you should look for in a partner if you want to find love that lasts.
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