These 2 Very Common Conversation Mistakes Kill Attraction on a Date. Are You Making Them?

If you’re a single woman working toward meeting a confident and relationship-minded man, a must-have skill is the art of conversation.

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If your perception is that all a guy does is look you up and down and decide if he wants to ask you out, you’re wrong.

The Good Guys want to connect somehow if they’re going to spend an evening with you. They want to know you’ll be fun and open and that he will feel some type of a "connection".

If after going on a date with you, he goes home and regrets something he said, or he decides he didn’t have fun or didn’t enjoy the evening, then he’s not going to call again.

The problem is that he’s NOT going to tell you this was why you never heard from him again.

You’ll be left to wonder what happened, or what it was you did and said that pushed him away or changed his mind about seeing you again.

Therefore, what I’m about to reveal to you may just change the way you approach conversations when dating a guy, and just may lead you to making the simple, yet powerful shifts that will help you attract a wonderful man so he’ll keep asking you out again and again.

The 2 Common Turn Offs That Make Him Not Interested in Seeing You Again

I’ve been coaching women for a long time on how to be more successful at dating and find Mr. Forever.

In order to help them, I have to first find out what they’re doing that’s not working. That involves hearing in detail what goes on during their dates.

What did you say? What did he say? What was the tone and vibe of the evening?

What I’ve concluded from hearing THOUSANDS of stories and advising hundreds of women, is that most women who are struggling to find love, despite going on many dates…

woman walking by water
  • SAY the same kinds of things on dates
  • Ask the SAME types of questions
  • Do the SAME things before, during, and after a date
  • And generally make the SAME kinds of mistakes

…which leads to the same BAD results: no calls, no future dates, no love.

And two of the biggest mistakes that I see women make are the following:

Mistake #1: Trying to Outsmart Him

Do you want to attract smart men, but you think men don’t want to date you because of your smarts?

Many smart women think that, but it’s simply not true.

Sure, some men prefer less “challenging” women, but the guy you’re looking for – the interesting, mature, accomplished man – has “smart” toward the top of his list of must-haves. He really does!

Women like you really turn these guys on, but the key word here is women.

Before he wants smart, he wants female.

If he just wanted smart (without the female part) he’d be fine just hangin’ with the guys at work.

So what does this mean? This means that he doesn’t want to compete with you.

When he tells you that he picked a particular restaurant because he often hosts business meetings there and the staff know him and take care of him, don’t one-up him by telling him about the time you hosted a dinner with 20 of your top clients with great success.

Let him have his moment!

Ok, maybe you were just sharing and showing him that you have things in common. Or maybe you thought he was bragging and you wanted to be sure he knew that you’re no slouch when it comes to being “connected” and appreciating the finer things.

Doesn’t matter, because he wants to relax and have a nice time with you on a date, not compete over who’s smarter, savier, and more accomplished. If he senses you’re one of “those” women, there’s a good chance you’ll never hear from him again.

Mistake #2: Letting Him Do All the Talking

Have you ever been on a date with a man who talked his head off while you sat nodding quietly and “uh-huh-ing” (notice I didn’t say listening).

It’s a funny thing, because it’s quite the opposite of the rest of life. Overall, women talk way more than men.

But on a first date, some men just can’t seem to stop talking. Funny.

Why does a guy do this? It could be that he’s nervous or overcompensating for his insecurity. He could be trying to impress you. Or he’s reveling in the opportunity to socialize and connect, which sometimes single men don’t get to do that often.

The thing is, if you let a man hog the conversation, he may just go home afterward and feel mortified because he overshared something. Or, you’ll go home and feel so drained by the date and critical of him that you’ll dismiss a potentially good guy for this relatively minor infraction.

You may think it’s a good idea to be a good listener on the first few dates, but generally, it’s a BETTER idea to steer a man away from his yammering.

You’ll have a much more pleasant time and he’ll appreciate you for it.

How to WOW Him On a First Date and EVERY Date, So You Can Finally “Win” Mr. Wonderful

Generally speaking, in order to WOW a man on the first few dates, you need to have skills. And one of the more important skills are those having to do with the art of conversation.

You need to know how to manage the tone and content of what you’re saying, and know how to subtly steer him if he’s talking too much, so that both of you have fun on your date.

You need to know what to ask, what to avoid asking, what to do and what to say—and how to avoid making the common mistakes that will lead a man to conclude that you’re needy, pushy, or too critical (when you’re not).

I’ve helped thousands of women find love with these skills and strategies and have helped them stay true to their values while gaining control of their dating life.

But since I can’t possibly work with every woman who needs this kind of help, I’ve partnered with Flourish so I can extend that help and guidance to as many women as possible.

When you subscribe to our FREE Relationship Advice Newsletter, you get access to more articles like these, from an accomplished community of carefully selected experts (like me!).

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You’ll also learn:

  • Even more strategies on how to “dazzle” him on a date or ramp up attraction so that he can’t wait to see you again.
  • The 6 truths about men and online dating that most women don’t know, don’t believe, or don’t understand, and how these truths can transform your expectations about dating online.
  • How to end the heartbreak of ghosting, rejection, and go-nowhere relationships by avoiding or reversing the 10 most common dating mistakes
  • A powerful process that will allow you to break the old patterns keeping you stuck and single
  • The #1 reason behind all relationship failure—and how you can heal yourself AND your relationship at the same time
  • How to awaken to your worthiness to love and be loved—and unleash your power to create a relationship that lights you up, inspires you, and brings out the best of who you are
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Bobbi Palmer

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