Let me ask you an important question. Think for a minute before you answer.
When you go on a date with someone for the first time, what is the outcome you’re hoping for?
Personal development educator specializing in relationships and sexuality
If you’re nodding your head to one or more of these, it could explain why you haven’t yet met a special person to love and share your life with.
This might be the reason why your love life has been one disaster and one disappointment after another.
It’s because you’ve been prioritizing ONE specific factor over all others in your love life.
You’ve been saying yes to dates, you’ve been getting intimate, you’ve been falling for people based on dangerously faulty information.
Whether or not you feel sexual or emotional “CHEMISTRY.”
You’ve been making critical decisions about your love life based on that elusive, over-the-moon, magical feeling you only get when you meet certain people.
We’ve ALL been conditioned to believe that when we finally meet “The One” it should feel magical.
Most of us believe that if we’re not feeling absolutely giddy and elated the first time we meet someone then it mustn’t be “meant to be”.
And when you DO get that exciting butterflies feeling of attraction and connection right away, we automatically assume this is a “sign”. Because this feeling doesn’t happen with everybody, and feels so exhilarating, you’re convinced it means you should jump right in. It feels “right” in a deep way. So you open your heart, do anything to keep this person because they’re special—yet it’s likely after the first couple dates you still know very little about this person and what type of a life partner they will be.
And that leads to getting involved with the wrong person or staying too long in a dead-end relationship.
This walking-on-air, dying-to-see-him-again, checking your phone 10 times, blissful FEELING that we’ve all been duped to think is LOVE is the #1 reason so many women end wasting precious years of their lives with men who will never give them what they want—a secure, lasting, passionate for the long term life partnership.
And this is why chemistry is so dangerous.
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The truth is…
When it comes to meeting the one person you can fall in love and create a life with, chemistry ought to be way down on your list of priorities.
This is what most happily (and unhappily) married people already know.
Many happily married couples are very attracted to one another, and may even have a deeply passionate sex life decades later. But it’s likely that this “chemistry” was not the driving force that drew them together early on, or made them decide to get engaged.
And in the beginning, many unhappily married or divorced couples likely had a strong “feeling” that their love was meant-to-be, magical, destined and special. But it turned out to be an illusion. After the infatuation eventually wore off (as it always does!), the real work of making a life together started. That’s when they discovered they had chosen the wrong person for the wrong reasons.
Chemistry—on its own—is no indication that a person is meant to be your life partner… Or that you should open your heart and trust them.
It’s largely just our body’s out-dated, primal response to evolutionary signals given off by another person. Thousands of years ago these signals were important for survival, today they’re simply not enough to inspire a healthy, practical choice in a partner.
Chemistry doesn’t predict anything. If you stop thinking rationally and potentially waste a lot of time in a relationship with someone who isn’t capable of ever making you happy, then chemistry is a good predictor of disappointment in love.
I know this isn’t what you want to hear.
It’s not what your heart wants to believe!
But consider this:
Would you buy a house based solely on a "feeling"? Of course not.
You’d research the neighborhood, make sure the price is in your budget, make sure your work commute isn’t too bad.
You’d ask your realtor their opinion. You’d look at several properties and compare them.
You might even make a list of benefits and drawbacks before making your final decision.
You’d even hire an inspector to make sure the house is structurally and mechanically sound before signing the final paperwork.
Why? Because buying a home is serious business.
It has a huge impact on your finances, your wellbeing and your happiness.
You’d do your “due diligence” because it matters.
Why should love or finding your life partner be any different?
Choosing someone with whom to build a life is one of THE most important decisions we will make in our lifetime.
It will determine your quality of life, what you do day to day, where you will live, how you will travel, what your holidays will look like… possibly even how long you’ll live!
It deserves at least the same level of thoughtfulness and preparation as buying a house or choosing a career.
And sure, I get that it doesn’t sound sexy or fun to approach dating and falling in love with the same level of pragmatism as buying a house or accepting a job offer.
But after coaching thousands of women all over the world, I can tell you this with absolute certainty.
When you take the time UPFRONT to get crystal clear on things like:
You’ll have taken the first step in the most effective and fastest way to get exactly what you want–that ONE person who will give you that deeply fulfilling relationship for life.
Now that’s SEXY!
The #1 mistake most women make is that they don’t approach dating this way.
They don’t take the time upfront to get a crystal clear level of clarity.
They rely on chemistry and “feeling good” with someone they have recently met as a definitive sign of compatibility and a legitimate reason to fall in love.
Do you feel a spark with a new person and start wondering, “Is this it? Is this the person I’ve been waiting for?”
This is NOT the purpose of dating!
Listen, you may be intelligent and educated, smart and clever, but if you’re dating in order to feel something special and exciting, you are “dumbing yourself down” when it comes to relationships.
To be smart in love, you must become more practical.
You have to:
When you approach dating this way, you’ll start to realize that the purpose of dating is NOT to find out if you are wildly attracted to the person sitting across from you at dinner.
Dating is merely a means to get to know someone. By the end of date one, all you need to know is if this is someone you would like to learn more about because you sense he could be compatible with you. That’s it!
Yes, this may not sound “magical” or “romantic” or even sexy.
But, while fun and exciting, that can’t-keep-our-hands-off-each-other feeling does not mean you are compatible.
Magic fizzles quickly. Chemistry is fleeting.
If you’re looking for a one night stand, or a hook-up buddy, magical passion is exactly what you need.
But for a serious life partner, someone who will walk next to you through the unexpected twists and turns of life, you must have something that transcends chemistry, magic and physical attraction.
True compatibility. That’s what’s really sexy.
In any relationship, there must be a level of compatibility that will ensure you’ll remain happily and securely in love—not just for a few short months or a couple of years—but for the rest of your life.
I’m not saying you don’t need to feel any attraction or chemistry in order to have a forever relationship. You do, but it shouldn’t be the basis upon which you build a relationship, and then a committed partnership or marriage.
In my 30+ years as a speaker and personal development educator to business executives, and in my clinical practice, I’ve met women who are amazingly successful in their professional lives, who have to think and strategize at extremely high levels in their jobs, who lead their organizations… but have no plan or clear vision in their romantic life!
While some women DO have visions for their romantic lives, they are often based on fantasy and the stuff of childhood wishes. Romantically, they are stuck in childhood—still hanging on an idea that’s not reality-based.
They are hoping for happily-ever-after stories that do not include strategic planning and are not necessarily thought through from logistics and appropriate staffing perspectives.
For instance, you wouldn’t engage in a work project with someone and expect success because of how they look or what their energy is like. You need a candidate who meets the job description and has proper training and skills! That’s who you can partner with professionally and be successful.
So why not take that same set of guidelines into account when evaluating a candidate for the job of life partner?
Instead, these women use an entirely different set of rules for their dating lives than they do in their business lives. They:
But when I show them how to use the same skills in their love lives they use in the rest of their lives to be successful and accomplish their goals and dreams, they meet their compatible, forever partner much faster.
Sometimes it will only be a matter of months after changing their approach that my clients and patients will fall in love—and even get engaged! And these aren’t rash decisions or whirlwind romances—these women are confidently making a sound decision about their future based on what they know is right for them.
They’ll know a man is "The One", not just because they feel a deep and abiding affection and attraction to him, but because he's so perfectly suited to them and to their goals, dreams and desires.
Their love stories aren’t flash-in-the-pan romances. They are solid, secure, sweet relationships that can overcome the conflicts of life and love together.
These relationships contribute to their overall health and wellbeing (instead of depleting it!)
Over the years, I’ve come to realize how utterly critical it is for single women to utilize a DIFFERENT APPROACH to dating than most of us have been taught to use our entire lives.
I decided to create a step-by-step program that teaches a woman a new approach to finding her forever person in a wiser and more pragmatic way, so she can realize her dream of marriage, family and lasting love sooner.
You will never have a lasting romantic relationship if it’s not a practical relationship.
All the money, attraction, great sex in the world isn’t going to be worth being in a lousy marriage or wasting years not getting to live the life you want.
You’ll end up heartbroken and bitter.
That’s what happens when you ride an emotional roller coaster for too long.
I don’t want you to waste any more of your energy and vitality on the wrong people and the wrong relationships.
Yes, dating can feel like a chore sometimes and I get that you just want to fall in love and be done with it.
But there’s a way to approach it pragmatically, as an exercise in self-care and self-knowledge.
If you don’t take the pragmatic approach now, you’ll be forced to take it later, either 3—6 months down the line when that charming guy turns out to be a jerk and you’re back at square one.
Or, even worse, when divorcing someone who was never right for you.
You deserve to find someone who fits your life AND whom you love and adore, without wasting years falling for the wrong people.
That’s why I created my The Soulmate Method 30-day video program.
You will learn how to date EFFICIENTLY and EFFECTIVELY so you can find someone to make you wildly happy and safe—sooner.
I’ll teach you how to form a plan and strategy for vetting the people you’re dating, so you lower your chances of getting your feelings hurt because you got too attached to the wrong person.
You’ll know the right questions to ask yourself and your prospective love interest, so you can determine if your date’s personal traits and habits are suitable to building a life together before you get too emotionally attached or caught up in the whirlwind of courtship.
This isn’t “duty dating”—which can be as boring as it sounds. I’ll show you how you can mix things up and still have a blast on your dates WHILE getting to know valuable and critical information about the person you’re seeing.
You’ll get guidelines on how to get to know someone without the distraction of sex and the inevitable attachment hormones that complicate things.
You’ll discover the most valuable assets you have to offer in a relationship, which will raise your self-esteem. You’ll stop paying so much attention to what a man thinks of you and pay more attention to qualifying HIM.
You’ll learn to distinguish between chemistry and true compatibility, so you won’t get swept away by feelings that affect your judgment and get you entangled with Prince Charming (who turns into a toxic person after months or years) or stuck in dead-end situations.
And you’ll learn how to identify your attraction patterns that haven’t worked to your benefit in the past, and how to change those patterns to create a whole new and better experience of love.
You’ll learn skills and strategies that will enable you to discern who is the right partner for you in a meaningful way—by evaluating and analyzing your past history, your childhood, your personal quirks and future life goals.
If you’ve never prepared yourself for love in this way, this will be an entirely EYE-OPENING, EXPERIENCE that will alter the course of the rest of your life.
The Soulmate Method is a 30-day program that takes you through a powerful exploratory process AND gives you practical tips, conversation starters, activities and steps that will make finding your soulmate a much richer experience and a soul-gratifying process.
As you go through the 30-day program, it’ll become apparent who is—and isn’t—a good fit for you and your life.
You’ll stop wasting time saying yes to second or third dates with people you would eventually discover aren’t good or with whom you can’t ever build a life. You’ll be armed with self-knowledge and confidence about your worth when you meet someone new. You’ll know exactly the kind of person you want and what you need in order to feel gloriously and happily in love for the rest of your life.
The Soulmate Method is a foundational, practical program that will transform your love life and dating experience—FAST. It will eliminate the guesswork of choosing whom to say “yes” to, whom you should get to know better, and whom you can kindly decline.
You need clarity about what you are looking for in an intimate relationship. While many think there is a generic ideal, everyone actually wants something different. Designing a relationship to meet your personal needs requires self knowledge and constructive thinking.
By completing this section, you will have a thorough, informed inventory of what your ideal relationship will look like and the kind of person with whom you wish to become intimate and build a life. You will know the qualities in a person you desire and the sorts of life advantages you would like them to “bring to the table”. This section moves you out of vagueness and toward knowing and achieving what you really want.
Chemistry and attraction can be the driving force behind initiating with a potential partner. As important as they are, they can lead you astray, dumping you into a hot romance with no longevity and plenty of heartbreak.
Compatibility is what will allow a relationship to go the distance, and being able to differentiate between chemistry and compatibility is necessary for dating success.
On completing section two, you will gain the knowledge to identify and set aside those powerful, instinctual feelings that can distract you from making informed choices on early dates. You will also begin to develop a process that will allow you to know which partner is right for you.
The best way to protect your heart is to quickly learn about the person you are dating. This way you are less emotionally attached if you choose to part company. Who you partner with is a practical decision far more than a romantic one. If your love is rooted in practical decision-making, the romance can blossom.
On completing section three, you will have identified and recorded patterns of previous relationships that have served you and those that have not. This information will allow you to increase the use of healthy, more constructive patterns and minimize the negative habits of both you and your future partners. You will also have identified which attributes are the most important for you to look for in a partner.
A new love affair feels so good. It’s as if you are on a river flowing along to the open ocean of love and contentment. How do you know that you won’t end up in the mud without a paddle?
Skills can help you navigate the challenging and delightful currents of courtship, ensuring that you end up where you want to go with your heart intact.
The completion of section four will equip you with effective tools for early dating, getting to know your prospective partner, navigating emotional pitfalls and treating everyone you date with decency and respect.
Place your order and be watching The Soulmate Method in a matter of minutes. Take a full 7 days to examine the program and the workbook, take the steps I recommend when you go on your next date, and see if you are approaching dating with a newfound level of discernment and efficiency. You should feel more confident and relaxed about whom you’re saying “yes” to for another date, and whom you’re kindly declining, based on practical, important factors that are true indicators of relationship longevity and happiness.
If, at the end of the 7 days, you decide this program isn’t going to help you find your soulmate more efficiently, simply let me know and I’ll refund your investment in FULL, no questions, no hassle. This is my promise: You’ll find outstanding value from this program after putting it into practice for a full week or pay nothing!
Once you place your order, you’ll also begin receiving the Flourish newsletter—which means even more advice from our curated community of experts. We’ll send you articles with eye-opening insights and practical strategies you can put into practice right away. It’s completely free, and it’s our way of helping you flourish in every area of your life.
You’ll be able to access the program within minutes of purchasing.
7 full days of unlimited access before deciding to keep it.
Not 100% thrilled? Let me know and I’ll give you a full refund.
One of the most important parts of a successful relationship or marriage is simply picking the right person.
When you pick the right person, your life is easier and more joyful. You can move forward into your future together with optimism and a shared sense of adventure. You support each other in tough times and you have someone with whom to celebrate life’s bounty.
When you pick the wrong person, life becomes a series of hardships and dramas. Small annoyances become daily struggles. You have to contend with personality differences instead of unifying in the face of day-to-day challenges. Each decision you have to make together is complicated with negotiating who needs to sacrifice what this time. Or who needs to let go of something dear to them in order to keep the peace in the relationship.
The tragic thing is that most people don’t even realize they’re with the wrong person until it’s already too late, because they’ve been blinded by chemistry and infatuation. They think it’s “right” because it “feels so right”. But sometimes “feeling right” has nothing to do with a relationship being the right one.
That’s why I created The Soulmate Method to give you the best chance to choose the kind of person who will elevate your life, bring you peace and contentment, and love you the way you want to be loved.
But this program isn’t for wimps.
You have to be willing to face yourself in a way that’s revealing and refreshing.
You have to be willing to face that what feels easier isn’t always what’s better for you.
You have to face your past and reevaluate if what you think you want is truly what you need.
You have to be willing to face your expectations and the ghosts of your childhood.
It’ll be worth it, though, I promise. The prospect of uniting at long last with that one person who can fill you with joy, growth and satisfaction is well worth the effort.
I can’t wait to show you how to get there.